Project Vocaloid
by HomestarOtaku
Summary: Miku Hatsune is one of seven successful singers known by their fans and followers as Vocaloids. Join us as she and her friends walk the streets of Japan, sing in front of huge crowds of people, battle evil space aliens--wait. What? Who wrote this intro?
1. Chapter 1: A New Day

Chapter 1: A New Day

(camera pans various locations across Japan, including the Tokyo subway, a hot spring in Hokkaido, a school in Kyoto, a gigantic arcade, a beach, and a Shinto temple)

[Hello, everyone, and welcome to Japan, where anything is possible if you have music, a computer, and uh…some other stuff. I am the narrator, a generic voice that doesn't exist, but moves the plot along for your convenience. And just what is the plot, you ask? Well, our story begins with a renowned singer here in Japan, (camera reaches a concert hall; fade to inside where we see Miku standing at the center of a stage) a 16 year-old teen idol named Miku Hatsune.] (pause) [That's her, by the way.] (resume)

Miku: (enthusiastically waving to the crowd) Hello, Tokyo! Are you ready to rock?!

(applause)

Miku: (points to the drummer) HIT IT! (upbeat music starts playing)1

It's a new day for adventure. Here I come!  
I just wouldn't miss it for the world.  
Even though I don't have any leek,  
I would still like one if I could.  
But now, would you please,  
Install me on your PC,  
Quit staring at the  
Package and just let me do what I do best?  
So, here we go now!  
Miku miku ni shite ageru;  
That's the song that I'll be singing every day.  
Miku miku ni shite ageru;  
So give me one chance, and I promise  
I won't let you down!

[Can that girl sing or what? (camera fades to black) Anyway, the next morning, (camera fades in to a kitchen; we see Kaito cooking something at the stove) at Miku's apartment…]

Miku: (walks into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes) (yawn)

Kaito: Well, look who finally (camera cuts to view of Kaito) decided to wake up. Good morning.

(pause) [This is Kaito Shion2, one of Miku's friends and forerunners. Despite his large female fan base, he seems oblivious to any sort of physical attraction to him. It's kind of stupid if you ask me. I don't know for sure. I just get paid to read this.] (resume)

Miku: Good morning, Kaito-san… (sits at the table)

Kaito: I heard the concert was a smash hit last night. (camera cuts to top view of stove; Kaito is making hard boiled eggs, pancakes, and miso soup) Too bad I couldn't go.

Miku: Uh, what were you up to, anyway?

Kaito: Well, let's just say I was busy…(fade to white)

(fade from white to a scene with a white border; Kaito is standing at the back of a very long line at a Baskin Robins)

Kaito: (sigh) What is with these ice cream people? (fade to white)

(fade from white)

Miku: That's okay, Kaito-san. We all know how much you love ice cream.

Kaito: Gee, thanks for understanding.

Miku: (chuckle) You're welcome. By the way, how long was the line?

Kaito: Well, I…uh… (cell phone rings3) Oh, just hold on a second. (answers his cell phone) Hello?… Oh, hi, Meiko… What? You want to meet up with us later?...Okay… We'll be right there… You already invited them?... That's great!...You think so?...Pfft, typical…Okay, bye…Wait. You what? (cell phone clicks)

Miku: (taking some pancakes and an egg) What was that about?

Kaito: It's Meiko; she's back from her vacation in Okinawa and she wants us to meet her at her house later.

Miku: Ooh. I'd love to go there. She has such a nice backyard to play in. (sits down) Will Rin and Len be there too?

Kaito: Well, Meiko said she invited them, but knowing the twins, they'll either be fashionably early or ridiculously late. (turns off the stove) I wonder what she wants us for.

Miku: Maybe she just wants to catch up on what we've been up to. I haven't seen her since she left two weeks ago. (takes a bite out of a pancake)

Kaito: Yeah. (sits down with his plate) You're probably right.

[And so begins another day in the life of Miku Hatsune. What new surprises await her today? What could Meiko want with her and Kaito? And will Kaito ever make it to Baskin Robins in time to avoid a long line? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 Fandub lyrics of "Miku Miku Ni Shite Ageru". Be on the lookout for various Vocaloid song references throughout Project Vocaloid.

2 I've heard a lot of speculation regarding Kaito's last name. Personally, I think it's Shion.

3 Kaito's ring tone is "Sen'nen no Dokusouka," meaning "Thousand-Year Solo" in Japanese.


	2. Chapter 2: Moving Time

Chapter 2: Moving Time

(camera tracks Miku and Kaito walking the streets of downtown Tokyo) [And so, we find Miku and her friend, Kaito, looking to see their friend, Meiko. Who knows what she needs from them? (camera stops tracking as Miku and Kaito arrive at Meiko's house; Meiko is standing by the front gate with her arms crossed) I guess only time will tell, now.]

Meiko: You're late.

Miku: But we just got your call two hours ago and-

Meiko: I'm just kidding; you two are just in time.

(pause) [This is Meiko Sakine1, the first of the Vocaloids. She and Miku have been caught in a love triangle with Kaito for quite some time2. Of course, Kaito still hasn't noticed, but I don't care. I'm the narrator.] (resume)

Kaito: Just in time for what, exactly?

Meiko: Well, a new contractor called me up last night and told me he was willing to sign a deal with the five of us. He told me he'd only do it if all of us were present, though, so I called you here. I called Rin and Len three hours ago to pick us up, but they said they were experiencing "technical difficulties" with something.

Miku: Don't worry, Meiko-san. Whatever's keeping the twins, they should be here any minute, now.

(suddenly, we hear screaming in the background)

Miku: What's that noise?

Meiko: It's probably just some live broadcast of another lame Godzilla movie. Ever notice he always attacks Tokyo for some reason? (camera cuts to the street, where we see a road roller careening out of control, crushing cars, lampposts, etc.; Rin and Len are inside, frantically trying to stop it)

Kaito: (gasp) MEIKO, MIKU, MOVE!! (shoves Meiko and Miku out of the way, then turns to see the road roller headed straight towards him)

Rin and Len: LOOK OUT!!!

Kaito, Rin, and Len: (camera erratically cuts back and forth between Kaito, Rin, and Len) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(crash, screen abruptly turns red, then fades to black; sad music starts playing3)

[Don't worry. Nobody dies in this story. (disc scratch, music stops) They just get really big boo-boos.]4

(camera fades in to Kaito lying face up and moaning in pain; his eyes are spirals)

[What did I tell ya?]

Miku: (frantically shakes Kaito) Kaito-san! Kaito-san! Are you okay? Wake up! Please, wake up!

Meiko: (off-screen) Be more careful, you two! (cuts to her standing in front of Rin and Len; in the background, the road roller5 is a smoldering wreck amid the ruins of Meiko's house) If Kaito hadn't thrown himself in your path, you would've killed us all!

Rin: (whining) It's not our fault! (camera cuts to front view of Rin and Len) Somebody must've cut the brakes!

(pause) [These two are Rin and Len Kagamine. Although they're just 14, they're very talented singers in their own right. I'm not sure how their road roller can move so quickly, though, or even how they got it in the first place.] (resume)

Meiko: Enough of your excuses! Just look what you did to Kaito! (glances over her shoulder, notices her house in ruins, then slowly turns back)And look…what you did…to my house!

Rin: (gets down on her knees and puts her hands together) (crying) We're so sorry, Meiko-nee-san! Please, don't kill us! (looks up into Meiko's eyes, then freezes for a moment) (camera cuts to view of nearby houses, then shakes violently)

Meiko (enraged) and Rin (terrified): AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

(camera cuts to Meiko repeatedly beating Rin over the head with a pair of books6 while Len looks on with wide eyes)

Len: (nervously) Okay. Run away… (starts to run away, then notices Miku and Kaito on the ground and stops) Oh, hi, Miku. Hi, Kaito-san. Are you okay?

Miku: I'm fine. I can't say the same about Kaito-san, though.

Kaito: (coughs) Ugh…my spleen… (camera cuts to blurred view of Len and Miku from Kaito's perspective) Len…? Is that you? (camera cuts back to Len and Miku standing over Kaito)

Len: I'll take that as a yes from both of you. (looks back at Meiko, who is still beating Rin) Come on. Let's get out of here before Meiko beats us up, too.

Kaito: (gets up) "Us"? (shakes his head, brushes himself off) You and Rin are the ones who—(clutches his shoulder) ow—ran over me and wrecked Meiko's house.

Len: It's not our fault; someone must've sabotaged our road roller. The brakes, the steering wheel, the emergency brake: nothing seemed to work but the engine. And uh…(slowly looks at the wreckage of Meiko's house) speaking of Meiko… (stares for a few seconds, then quickly snaps his head back to face Miku and Kaito) Oh, I just remembered! Meiko called us about some kind of new record deal.

Kaito: We know. We were waiting for you and Rin to come along.

Len: Oh, crap! Rin! (runs over to Meiko and Rin, then catches Meiko's arm; Meiko seems to immediately snap out of her berserker rage) I think you've beaten my sister quite enough, Meiko-san. Now, it's my turn.

Rin: (crying) I'm gonna die… (stops crying) Uh…wait…it stopped…(rises to her feet)

Meiko: Oh. Uh… (taps Len on the head)

Len: 3…2…1…

Rin: (overjoyed) YAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! (runs over to Len and hugs him tightly)Oh, thank you, thank you, etc.

Len: (gagging) Rin…let go…I can't…breathe…

Rin: Oh. (lets go of Len) Sorry, Len. (turning to Meiko) And sorry again about your house, Meiko-nee-san. But who knows? Maybe this new record dealer you told us about will give us all a place to stay, like in that TV show.

Meiko: Really? He never told ME about that. Well, I'll go pack my bags.

Rin: Can Len and I help? It's the least we can do after we ran over Kaito-nii-san and destroyed your house. We also need to get our road roller up and running again.

Kaito: I suppose Miku and I can help repair the road roller—(clutches his side) agh!

Miku: No, Kaito-san. You need to stay here and recover. (puts a cross bandage on Kaito's head) That should do for now.

[Well, I can't say THAT little mishap ended in complete disaster. But still, what will Meiko do now that her house has been destroyed? Can the Kagamines fix their road roller in time to make it to the meeting with the mysterious new record dealer? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 Since the fan made "Meiko Sakine" is meant to be a younger version of Meiko, I thought "What's the point in another lame time travel paradox?" So I decided to use Meiko's full name for the original version of her.

2 I'm normally in favor of KaitoXMeiko, but for all you KaitoXMiku fans out there, I've chosen to stay neutral…for now.

3 The song playing here is "Saihate".

4 Yes, I did in fact rip that quote off "George of the Jungle". Get over it.

5 This shot reveals a bumper sticker on the road roller that reads, "RinLenLaRiRin."

6 One of the books Meiko uses to beat Rin senseless is titled, "Various Feelings." The other is titled, "Beating People Senseless for Dummies."


	3. Chapter 3: Welcome to Crypton Studios!

Chapter 3: Welcome to Crypton Studios!

(camera tracks Miku, Kaito, Meiko Rin, and Len riding the slightly ramshackle road roller around Tokyo)

[And so, we find our friends on their way toward what I think is supposed to be their new record dealer's residence or office building, or something. I don't really know for sure; I just read the script.]

Kaito: I think we might be lost.

Meiko: Don't be silly. This is the right way…isn't it?

[Anyway, though their journey is long, our heroes persevere, (road roller stops at the base of a huge skyscraper) until finally…]

All (in awe): Oh…

Miku: Are you sure this is the place?

Meiko: I'm pretty sure…

(silence)

Rin: Well, we'll never get that record deal if we just keep standing here. Let's go! (rushes to the door)

Len: Rin, wait! (Miku, Kaito, and Meiko walk to the door) (sigh) Why me? (walks to the door)

(camera cuts to inside of a room, where we see a silhouette of Gakupo playing DDR1)

(music stops; Gakupo comes out of silhouette)

Gakupo: (wipes his brow) Ah, another perfect score. (picks up a water bottle, drinks from it, then puts it down) I've still got the moves. (hears knocking at the door) Who's there?

Meiko: (from outside) Hey, Gakupo. I should've known you were the contractor who called me earlier.

(door opens; Miku, Kaito, Meiko, Rin, and Len walk in)

(pause) [This is Gakupo Kamui. He's the head of Crypton Studios, a division of Crypton Future Media. After his great uncle mysteriously disappeared, he took over the branch and has since held Crypton's reputation and status…wait a minute. There are three more pages of this gobbledygook! No way am I reading this!] (resume)

Gakupo: Oh, it's you guys. Shouldn't you have been here fifteen minutes ago?

Rin: (chuckle) Well, uh, you see…the thing is, uh…

Meiko: Rin and Len wrecked my house and their road roller.

Miku: And they ran over Kaito-san in the process.

Kaito: We did manage to get it fixed, though. The road roller, I mean, not Meiko's house.

Gakupo: What? (to Rin and Len) Do you two realize what you've done?

Rin: We couldn't do anything about it, Gakupo-san. That road roller had a mind of its own.

Len: Not really. We tried installing a new drive train the other day. While we were fixing the road roller, I found somebody's socks caught in the steering mechanism, a banana peel in the carburetor, and a mousetrap in the gearshift. (looks at Rin)

Rin: What? I thought there was a rat in there when we found it in the junkyard.

Gakupo: But wouldn't the road roller have been a scrap pile by then?

Kaito: Maybe it had just arrived there. I don't know. I wasn't there.

Gakupo: But they don't even-

Rin: We're licensed road roller drivers.

Gakupo: You're only 14…

Rin: And we still passed the driving test.

Len: We never took any-

Rin: (to Len) Shut up. (to Gakupo) Look. Just forget about it.

Gakupo: (slightly sarcastically) Right. (normally) The point is now I need to do something about where Meiko will live; the five of you are my responsibility now, and I haven't had a client in months.

Miku: Does this mean…?

Gakupo: Yes it does, Miku. It means you all get that record deal. And I'll let you all live here at Crypton Studios free of charge.

Miku, Kaito, Meiko, Rin, and Len: (emotions ranging from overjoyed to stupefied) No way! YAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Oh, my god! We got it! Yahoo! I can't believe it! What? Oh, thank you! That was easy. Ice cream! Etc.

Gakupo: On one condition: (everybody stops) I get to sing with you.

Kaito: Of course, you can sing with us. Who are we to stop you?

Luka: (offscreen) Not so fast, Gakupo. (camera cuts to Luka entering with a teacup2 in her hand)

Miku: Oh, Luka-san.

Luka: Hi. Long time, no see.

(pause) [This is Luka Megurine. She moved to Tokyo after the previous head of Crypton Studios heard her sing at a karaoke club in Okayama and offered her a record deal. Luka has been good friends with the other Vocaloids ever since. I wish I was that lucky…] (resume)

Luka: If Gakupo sings with you guys, than so do I. Somebody's got to keep an eye on that ego of his.

Gakupo: Of course I'll let you sing with us, Luka. What are friends for?

Kaito: Then I guess it's settled. The seven of us get to sing together under this new record deal, right?

Gakupo: Absolutely. (fade to black, silence)

Rin: So, uh, when do we start?

Gakupo: I'll tell you after I finish pausing dramatically. (silence)

Len: Are you finished yet?

Gakupo: NO! SHUT UP!

(camera cuts to an alley, where we see a stranger in a dark cloak running away from someone or something) [Meanwhile, somewhere else in Tokyo…]

Stranger: (stops to catch breath) All right. I think I lost them. (looks around, then sees somebody move) Aw, crap. They're still on to me. (resumes running)

[What a stroke of good luck for Miku and her friends. With a record deal AND free residence at Crypton Studios, courtesy of their old friend, Gakupo, they look like they're on their way to a brighter future. But who is the mysterious stranger on the other side of the city? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid. I am the narrator! FEAR MY OMNIPOTENCE!!! …I deserve a snack…]

1 The song Gakupo is playing on DDR is "Dancing Samurai".

2 The words, "RIP=Release," are barely visible on Luka's teacup.


	4. Chapter 4: Quality Time

Chapter 4: Quality Time

(slideshow of scenes from previous chapter) [When we last left our heroes, sort of, they had just gained the approval of a new record deal and new living quarters from their good friend, (scene showing Miku, Rin, and Len playing Mario Kart Wii1 in a room together) Gakupo.]

Miku: (to the narrator) I'm pretty sure the audience knows that already.

Len: Who are you talking to?

Miku: (to Len, nervously) Oh, um, uh…nobody. Yeah. Nobody.

Rin: (And people say I'M the crazy one…)

[That you are, Rin. That you are. As I was saying, Miku and her friends have just been approved for a new record deal with their good buddy, Gakupo, who has recently assumed control of Crypton Studios. Now, we find them (camera cuts to various scenes of the Vocaloids in different sections of their suite, including Meiko sleeping with a bottle of sake nearby2; Kaito reading a book3; and Rin, Len, and Miku playing Mario Kart Wii) in their new home away from home, maxing and relaxing.]

Len: Seriously, Rin. Why do you always pick King Boo if you know you'll lose every time?

Rin: I just like him because he's all cute and puffy like a marshmallow. Besides, I don't play to win.

Miku: You know, this kind of reminds me of the time I first met you two.

Len: How so?

Miku: Well… (fade to white)

(fade from white; we see a Miku sprite running from a giant Pac-Man in an 8-bit Mario landscape)

Pac-Man Monster: Roar. I am Pac-Man Monster. I'm going to eat you.

8-bit Miku: (turns around) Take this, you fiend! (a giant 8-bit chocobo sprite appears in front of 8-bit Miku) I summon the Great Golden Chicken! (the chocobo sprite attacks Pac-Man Monster)

Pac-Man Monster: (eats the chocobo sprite) Ha ha. Your summoning is useless. Now, I'm going to eat you.

8-bit Miku: Well, how about this? (a giant Mario sprite appears in front of 8-bit Miku) I summon Super Mega Ultra Giga Mario! (the Mario sprite attacks)

Pac-Man Monster: (keels over and disintegrates) Oh, no. I am slain.

(camera cuts back to Miku, Rin and Len playing Mario Kart Wii)

Rin: What part of that had anything to do with when we first met?

Miku: Oops. Sorry. I meant to say… (fade to white)

(fade from white; we see a significantly younger Miku walking in store with a basket full of leek in her hands, humming "Innocence")

Rin: (off-screen) Catch me if you can! (giggling) (camera cuts to Rin tearing down the aisles with Len in pursuit)

Len: Rin, stop! (Rin turns a corner) Seriously, slow down before you-(cringes to a crashing sound) …do exactly that…

Rin: (off-screen) Ow! What did you do that for?!

(camera cuts to Miku apologizing and picking up her leeks while Rin yaps at her)

Len: (rounding the corner) Hey, uh. Sorry about my sister, ma'am. She has a habit of doing that.

Miku: I'm fine. And my name's Miku. Miku Hatsune.

Len: I'm Len Kagamine. You've already met my sister, Rin.

Miku: Rin and Len… (giggle) Those are nice names.

Rin: Sorry for yelling at you, Miku-san.

Miku: Just call me Miku.

Rin: Okay. (to Len) We'd better hurry back to the produce section before Mommy and Daddy find out we're missing. Let's go! (takes off)

Len: Rin, wait! (groans) (turns to Miku) Well, see you later. (starts following Rin)

Miku: Bye. Take care. (fade to white)

(fade from white; we see Miku, Rin and Len playing Mario Kart Wii again)

Len: Some things never change… (looks at Rin)

Rin: What? You never take the time to enjoy life, Len. I have to be that way to cover us both.

Len: By "cover us both", you really mean "let your emotions run wild everywhere we go", right?

Rin: No, I mean "cover us both"; you and I both know you're not as mature as you make yourself out to be.

Len: (dumbstruck) Th-that's not true. I-I-I-I'm plenty mature. (nervously to Miku) Right?

Miku: Why should I care? You two are fine just the way you are if you ask me. And to think some people question your relationship.

Rin: Speaking of relationships, how are things going between you and Kaito?

Miku: Uh… Well uh… (blush) …E-Everything's going just fine.

Rin: Aren't you bothered by the possibility that he'll fall in love with Meiko instead of you?

Miku: No, I, uh… (nervously) I just want him to be happy; that's all.

Len: That's all indeed, huh? (looks down, then blushes)

Rin: Hey Len, did your face just turn red?

Len: What are you talking about?

Rin: Your face. I thought I just saw it turn red. Are you okay?

Len: Wha-oh, uh, yeah. I'm fine. I mean, I'm not sick or anything. (chuckles anxiously)

Miku: Is anyone else watching the screen? (camera cuts to TV screen showing Yoshi driving off a cliff) Because it looks like Len's losing right now. (camera cuts back to Miku, Rin and Len)

Len: Aw, crap! (frantically resumes playing) I forgot about that.

Rin: (resumes focus on game) See, Miku? My brother may act mature, but he's not.

Miku: (flatly) Okay… (normally) So hey, you want to hang out sometime?

Rin: You must be psychic, Miku. Of course I do.

[All right… So, here we find Miku and the twins just lounging around, having a good time, but what about Meiko and Kaito? How are they taking their new living spaces? And what about that mysterious stranger we saw in the last chapter? Who is he? Who is she? I guess we'll find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 Here, Rin plays as King Boo, Len plays as Yoshi, and Miku plays as Peach; Len appears to be winning.

2 The bottle of sake is labeled "Snow Flower".

3 The book Kaito is reading is titled "Soukyuu no Valharrier".


	5. Chapter 5: Not So Grown Up Conversation

Chapter 5: Not-So-Grown-Up Conversation.

(camera shows Miku, Rin and Len playing Mario Kart Wii) [And so, we once again find Miku and her friends familiarizing themselves with their new home away from home. While Miku, Rin and Len enjoy themselves with a few exhilarating rounds of Mario Kart Wii (camera fades to Meiko sleeping with a bottle of sake nearby1), the elder Vocaloids seem to have other things in mind.]

Meiko: (moaning) (barely intelligible) No, Mom… I won't be alone… (fade to white)

(fade from white; we see a significantly younger Meiko2 getting ready to go somewhere, possibly to a party)

Meiko: All my friends will be there too. I mean it's not like I'll end up at some bar and get drunk or anything. Besides, I'm taking my cell phone.

Meiko's mom: (offscreen) Well, just make sure you get home safely, Meiko. I don't want to call your father to pick you up again.

Meiko: I'll call you when the party's over. Don't worry. (heads out the door) Bye. (closes the door) (fade to white)

(fade in from white back to Meiko sleeping)

Meiko: (barely intelligible) See you later… (turns over) (moan)

Luka: (standing by the door) Still a raging alcoholic, I see.

Meiko: (slowly gets up, then yawns with a noise that sounds more like a moan) (clutching her forehead) Oh, it's you, Luka. What are you doing here?

Luka: I called you on your cell phone to come with me for a walk. You didn't answer, so I figured you got drunk last night. This had nothing to do with you and Kaito, did it?

Meiko: Wha…? (looks at the sake bottle, then sloppily points at it) Hey. How did you get in here?

Luka: (sigh) I can't believe you've never suffered any negative repercussions after drinking so much sake, not even once. How do you do it?

Meiko: STOP YELLING!!! I'm an adult, you know. (clutches her head) (moan) Stupid hangover.3

Luka: Never mind.

[Okay… (camera cuts to Kaito reading a book) Let's see what Kaito's up to.]

Kaito: (humming "Hikyou Sentai Urotanda4") (hears yelling from Meiko's bedroom, then looks up) Huh? What was that? (looks down at book) Oh, nothing, I guess. (resumes reading; Gakupo walks in) Oh, hi, Gakupo. Wouldn't it be more polite to knock?

Gakupo: What? I can't move freely in my own home?

Kaito: But you said-

Gakupo: Tut. Tut. Tut. (deep breath) Fine print.

Kaito: (flabbergasted) What?

Gakupo: Just kidding. I heard somebody shouting and I came here to investigate.

Kaito: It's probably Meiko. Last night, she drank half a gallon of sake in one go. It's amazing how that woman can down so much without throwing up.

Gakupo: Yeah. Almost as amazing as how you can down so much ice cream without getting brain freeze, or for that matter becoming overweight or entering a sugar coma.

Kaito: That's actually kind of how we first met.

Gakupo: Oh, really. Enlighten me, why don't you?

Kaito: Well, it all started when… (fade to white)

(fade from white; we see a noticeably younger Kaito standing at the back of a very long line at a Baskin Robins)

Kaito: (sigh) What's up with ice cream people these days?

Random girl: (off screen, in a woozy voice) I'm gonna be alright, everybody. (camera cuts to random girl stumbling along the sidewalk; she appears drunk, and Meiko is walking beside her) I can make it on my own… (hic)

Kaito: (begins to step out of line, but hesitates for a moment) Uh… (gets out of line and runs over to random girl) Hey, are you alright?

Random girl: What are you talking about? I'm just fine… (passes out)

Kaito: (catches random girl) Hey, wake up. Wake up.

Meiko: It's no use. She's been known to do this a lot.

Kaito: Thanks. I'll have to remember that. My name's Kaito, by the way.

Meiko: Meiko. Nice to meet you, Kaito. I didn't really need your help, but thanks for being so considerate.

Kaito: Thanks. Well, see you later. (heads back to Baskin Robins)

Meiko: Bye.

Kaito: (to himself) Wow. Who'd have thought I'd actually get to help a drunkard's friend out? This must be my lucky night. (notices the line is even longer than before) AAAAAAA!!! (fade to white)

(fade in from white back to Kaito and Gakupo; Gakupo is practicing his swordsmanship5)

Gakupo: And I suppose you never considered inviting her to dinner, did you?

Kaito: What are you talking about?

Gakupo: What am I talking about? What am I talking about?! Oh, come on. After all this time, you still haven't noticed?

Kaito: I think I can see where this is going, and if you're implying that Meiko's in love with me, I beg to differ. If she was, she'd probably tell it to my face rather than go upside my head. Same thing with Miku.

Gakupo: That kind of thing works in movies, books, and TV shows, sure, but this is real life. The ladies prefer to keep their affection lower key.

Kaito: Huh?

Gakupo: Take it from me, Kaito. I know a woman's thought process inside out. After all, as much as she'd hate to admit it, Luka can't keep her hands off me6. Remember the time when… (fade to white, pause)

Kaito: When what?

Gakupo: Uh, (fade from white) never mind. The point is, my ignorant friend, that you need a visit to… (pause)

Kaito: Uh, just forget it, Gakupo. If you're going to give me advice on romance, do it when I'm not doing something else.

Gakupo: Hey. What's the point in telling something important if you can't be dramatic with it?

Kaito: You said, and I quote, "That kind of thing works in movies, books, and TV shows, sure, but this is real life." Now if you excuse me, I have a book to finish7.

Gakupo: Fine. Be that way. (walks out of room; fade to black)

(fade from black) [Meanwhile, somewhere else in Tokyo…] (a stranger in a black cloak walks the streets among a crowd of people)

Stranger: (looks around, notices suspicious figures, then notices an empty warehouse) They'll never find me there. (quietly slips into the crowd) (camera cuts to Suspicious Figure #2 on the rooftop of a building, holding a pair of binoculars)

Suspicious Figure #2: (on com link) This is Suspicious Figure #2. I lost the target. Repeat. I lost the target.

Voice: Copy that. And unless you're trying to give us away, quit calling yourself "Suspicious Figure #2".

Suspicious Figure #2: Sorry. I'll reacquire the target as soon as I can.

Voice: Good. I've already alerted the other agents.

Suspicious Figure #2: Understood. There'll be no mistakes, this time.

Voice: There'd better not be. (com link cuts out)

(Suspicious Figure #2 resumes looking through binoculars)

[Well, I guess that more or less sums up how the Vocaloids met each other. How will they start their new record deal? Will Kaito ever notice Meiko and Miku's attraction to him? Just how right is Gakupo about his relationship with Luka? Who is this mysterious stranger with the black cloak, and why are all those people chasing him or her? Be sure to stay up to date for the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 The bottle's label reads "Snow Flower".

2 This marks an appearance by the fan made version of Meiko; it's supposed to be a flashback.

3 I'd like to think that Meiko's fits of rage are largely alcohol-induced. Seriously, though, that's pretty much the worst I've ever seen out of a drunken Meiko.

4 In Japanese, this phrase means "Meanness/Cowardice Soldiers Urotanda". The song of the same name is apparently some sort of Vocaloid/Power Rangers crossover; I can't really tell.

5 What else is Gakupo supposed to do with his katana? Eat it?

6 I think the whole GakupoxLuka deal is just that much more enjoyable with Gakupo's ego pitted against Luka's seriousness.

7 This shot reveals the book's title: "Aoi Usagi", which means "Blue Rabbit" in Japanese.


	6. Chapter 6: We Did It Before

Chapter 6: We Did It Before…

(fade in to Gakupo standing in front of the couch while Miku and co. sit around) [And so, we find our friends gathered together to discuss, well, something really important, I guess. I mean the whole group meeting is practically screaming it at you. I don't think the writers really bothered to come up with anything less obvious, but oh well. Let's just see what happens.]

Len: (dejected) Not again…

Rin: What? I liked it.

Miku: It's got a ring to it. And if anyone doesn't know our names, they can at least tell it's us.

Len: But seriously. We used the word "Vocaloid" to identify ourselves the last 800 times we sang as a group. I think it's time for a change of pace for once.

Kaito: (to Miku and Rin) He's got a point, there, girls. (to Len) But Len, our fans have called us that for so long; I don't think they'll take a liking to us changing our group's stage name.

Len: How did we become known as "Vocaloids" anyway? We're not even the least bit robotic.

Meiko: Maybe it had something to do with those old singing programs modeled after us.

Len: I don't know. Maybe.

Meiko: Yeah. I'm still ticked at Yamaha for not upgrading mine after all these years; it sounds awful1.

Miku: Not if you know how to use it properly.

Kaito: (taking a spoonful of ice cream) Aren't those old programs in a museum somewhere in Kagoshima? Or is that some other software?

Gakupo: (irritated) Ahem.

Kaito: Oh, right. Our new song.

Gakupo: Actually, our first song is something you all should know very well.

Len: It'd better not be "Interstellar Flight2"; the last time we tried singing that song, the makers of Macross Frontier sued us for copyright infringement.

Rin: Didn't you wear a bright green wig that day, Len? Or was that Meiko?

Meiko: If I recall correctly, somebody accidentally set off the pyrotechnics during Miku's part in the song. Nobody was hurt, except Kaito, but the pyrotechnics set the whole building on fire.

Kaito: Oh, yeah. (fade to white)

(fade from white; we see Kaito backstage at the controls, watching the security camera displays and eating a hot fudge sundae)

Meiko: Kaito, get out here. We're on in two minutes.

Kaito: Okay. (runs out, leaving his sundae behind on the edge of the controls) (fade to white)

(fade from white)

Kaito: Hey. It's not my fault; somebody must've knocked over that sundae and spilled it on the controls.

Gakupo: Okay. Moving right along now. Actually, I thought we could sing "Now and Forever3" or whatever that song's called.

Miku: Oh, you mean "Forever and Ever". When I wrote the song, I only had Meiko-san, Kaito-san, the twins, and myself in mind. But I suppose we could write you and Luka-san in.

Luka: Sorry. I don't really do group songs anymore. Count me out.

Rin: Aw, come on, Luka. It'll be fun. When was the last time you ever sang with anybody else?

Luka: … (fade to white) …I don't want to talk about it. (fade from white)

Rin: It can't have been THAT bad, Luka. (to Miku) By the way, Miku, I was thinking more along the lines of something where we only had to write one person in.

Miku: You mean like "Go Go Mario!4"?

Rin: Exactly. Lots of people commented on how cute I looked in that Yoshi costume. (steadily becomes more and more excited) I mean, that hat was such a nice touch. It really captured the real me. And that adorable little saddle; I just couldn't take it off… (continues in the background)

Len: (sigh) And there she goes.

Meiko: Come to think of it, Luka, we performed the song quite a bit before you showed up. You'd be perfect as Kamek, don't you think?

Luka: Wha-hey! I never agreed to participate in this!

Meiko: Come on, Luka. It'll be fun. I'll even treat you to some sushi afterwards.

Luka: (thinks for a moment) Oh, okay. But you'd better not laugh.

Meiko: (to Kaito and Len) And you two. How about it?

Kaito: Alright. Count me in!

Len: (simultaneously) Not interested!

Kaito: Come on, Len. You've still got your whole life to embarrass yourself.

Len: I'm never wearing that stupid Toad outfit again and nothing will convince me otherwise.

(Meiko looks sternly at Len for a moment; camera cuts to Meiko holding Len's pants over her head and taunting Len as he reaches up to grab them5; in the background, we can hear Rin and Kaito laughing hysterically)

Len: Alright! Alright!! I'll do it!!! I'll do it!!!! Just give me back my pants!!!!!

[Okay. What just happened here? (fade to black) Anyway, the next day, (fade in from black; we see the Vocaloids standing on a stage in their Mario costumes6) in the studio auditorium…]

Gakupo: All right, everyone. Listen up. This may be a little different from the last time we performed this song. Why don't you give us the details, Miku?

Miku: Certainly. Originally, as you recall, I did all the singing, but this time, we all get singing parts. Well, all except Gakupo-san; he gets the speaking part in the middle.

Gakupo: What?!

Luka: It's only fair, Gakupo. At least you get to be the star.

Gakupo: Oh, I can live with that. (clears throat) All right, everybody, here we go. And a 1 and a 2 and a 3! (music starts playing)

[Unfortunately, readers, we'll have to cut this chapter short. I'm sorry we don't get to hear all the Vocaloids sing today, but don't worry. We will soon enough. How will this performance and other performances go in the time that follows from here on out? Will Meiko stop resorting to physical abuse? And…how did she manage to get Len's pants off anyway? Uh, find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 Meiko's referring to the Vocaloid program titled MEIKO, which was released by Crypton Future Media in 2004.

2 Len's referring to "Seikan Hikou," which means "Interstellar Flight" in Japanese. A character named Ranka Lee sings the song in the anime, Macross Frontier.

3 Gakupo's referring to the song, "Zutto Zutto", meaning "Forever and Ever" in Japanese.

4 In the song, "Go Go Mario!", Miku, Meiko, Kaito, Rin, Len, and Gakupo cosplay as various characters in the Mario games.

5 This shot reveals Len's banana boxers; I cannot think of a worse way for Meiko to abuse Len right now.

6 The roles are as follows: Gakupo=Mario, Miku=Luigi, Rin=Yoshi, Len=Toad, Meiko=Peach, Kaito=Bowser, and Luka=Shy Guy.


	7. Chapter 7: All Work and No Play

Chapter 7: All Work and No Play…

(we see the Vocaloids sitting, exhausted, on a stage) [And so, Miku and her friends have started into their new record deal with Gakupo. They've been rehearsing their old song, "Go Go Mario!", for hours.]

Rin: (panting) We've been rehearsing "Go Go Mario!" for hours, Gakupo.

[And it looks like they can't take it anymore.]

Len: (wheeze) I can't take it anymore….

[In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they haven't even had lunch yet.]

Kaito: (stomach growls) Ugh. We haven't even had lunch yet.

[Hey! Those are my lines!]

Gakupo: Those are the narrator's lines, guys, not that anybody cares about the narrator. He's not even a real character.

[Everybody cares about the narrator, and yes, I am a real character.]

Gakupo: (to the narrator) Hey, why don't you just take a step back and realize that we can all just get along fine without you? All you ever do is hog the spotlight to yourself and spoil every single line. How'd you even get that job? Did they hire the lowest bidder or something? You're not funny, you're not serious, and you're not even tragic! I bet you've never even heard of the seven of us before this story.

[(simultaneously) What would a story be without a narrator? A bunch of text, that's what. Who wants to read text all day? Well, certainly not anybody sensible enough to visit websites to watch stories play out. Besides, not many people would bother listening to stories without narrators. It'd be just hand gestures and babble. That's what I'm here for, you ungrateful transvestite. I am the narrator!]

Luka: Who are you talking to?

Gakupo: Who are YOU talking to? (to the others) All right, people. I want you all on your feet ASAP. We'll keep rehearsing until we get this song perfectly.

Miku: Please, Gakupo-san. You can't expect us to keep going on like this.

Luka: Miku-san's right, Gakupo. Don't you think you're pushing us all too hard?

Gakupo: What? You really think I'd push you all to keep working when I know you can't keep it up anymore? Come on. Can't you take a joke?

Meiko: (sarcastically) Yeah. Ha ha. That was very funny.

Kaito: (off screen) Seriously, when's lunch? We're starving.

Meiko: Yeah. I mean Rin tried to eat Miku's leek prop two hours ago.

Rin: I couldn't help it. It looked so convincing.

Gakupo: All right. So, I've been at it too much. Sorry.

Meiko: And a few minutes later, Miku tried to eat the leek prop, not to mention her own hair.

Miku: I never tried to eat my own hair. That leek prop did look convincing, though.

Gakupo: Okay, Meiko. I get the point. You can stop talking now-

Meiko: Why, I could've sworn that about fifteen minutes ago, you tried to eat one of the fake Super Mushrooms because you thought it was a muffin-

Gakupo: All right! That's enough! Listen here, Meiko. I never tried to eat any fake Super Mushrooms. (steps forward; we hear a yelp) I can understand you complaining about not having lunch.

Meiko: Gakupo?

Gakupo: And I can understand other people thinking I'm a woman.

Meiko: Gakupo…

Gakupo: But insult my props (grips his katana) and you've picked the wrong samurai to-!

Meiko: Gakupo!

Gakupo: What?

Meiko: You're standing on Miku's head.

(Gakupo looks down and sees Miku's head beneath his foot; Miku struggles weakly)

Miku: Oww… Please get off me, Gakupo-san…

Gakupo: Uh, (hastily steps back) sorry.

[Well, that was rather unexpected. (camera cuts to scene of Miku, Gakupo, and the others eating lunch in the lobby) Later, that same day…]

Rin: (irritated) Why do you have to be so mean?

Luka: Easy, Rin-kun. Gakupo's just been under a lot of stress, lately.

Rin: I didn't ask you, Luka.

Luka: I know. It's just that Gakupo's been very uptight since he took over Crypton Studios. After all, we're his first clients.

Len: I thought he said we're the first clients he's had in months.

Luka: (takes a drink from her teacup) He didn't say how many months. Allow me to shed some light on the subject… (fade to white)

(fade from white; we see Gakupo sitting in his office with his feet on his desk)

Gakupo: (sigh) This is boring. (looks at a chart, which shows a negative trendline)

Luka: It just hasn't been the same since your great uncle disappeared, has it, Gakupo?

Gakupo: No, it hasn't. Ever since Great Uncle Hinjo disappeared, nobody has signed any deals with me. (shows Luka the chart1) If this keeps up, we may have to file for bankruptcy.

Luka: Maybe it would make you feel better if you called some old friends. Besides, if it's clientele we need, a certain group of old friends just might be enough to pull us out of the hole.

Gakupo: (thinks for a moment) You don't mean…

Luka: (with a satisfied smile on her face) Yep. (fade to white)

(fade from white)

Miku: (holding an ice pack on her head) So, hiring us was your idea, Luka-san?

Luka: Of course.

Len: And Gakupo let himself get carried away when we started because he's never had any clientele until now?

Luka: Right.

Kaito: And you rigged the twins' road roller to run over me and crash into Meiko's house?

Luka: Exactly. Wait. What? Who told you that?

Kaito: Meiko asked me about the 9000 yen I owed her for that dinner we all had last night. I looked through my coat pockets and found (holds up a small device) this: a homing beacon with your name etched on it.

Luka: I don't think that's a homing beacon, Kaito.

Kaito: Then why does it say "beacon" on the side?

Luka: Actually, it says "smoke and mist2".

Kaito: Then why's there a label that reads "This homing beacon will instantly render the designated wearer visible on all radio frequencies. Limited 3 year warranty included3"?

Luka: Oh, my mistake. But seriously, I don't know how that got there.

Meiko: Then why did I find this (holds up a damaged homing transceiver) under the road roller's hood? And why does it have your name written on it?

Luka: Look, I swear. It wasn't me. Someone must've-

Meiko: (enraged) Enough of your lies, you backstabbing ingrate! I have half a mind to come into (grabs Luka by her collar and shakes her violently) your bedroom tonight and beat you mercilessly until you're covered in an endless, crimson stream of my infallible rage! And the other half of my mind will start screaming at me to kill the first half! The brain damage you have right now is nothing compared to the compound fracture I'll give to your skull!

Kaito: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm down, Meiko.

Meiko: (normally) I'm just kidding. (lets go of Luka, who has spirals for eyes) I know it wasn't her. Besides, last time I checked, "Megurine" didn't have an "i" at the end.

Miku: (off screen) Luka-san. Luka-san. Are you okay?

Kaito: (wide eyed) Wow. And I thought you were scary when you were drunk.

Meiko: (smiling at Kaito) Meh, it's a gift.

Len: (looks away from Meiko and Kaito) (thinking) A homing beacon in Kaito's coat? A homing transceiver in our road roller? And both of said items with Luka's name misspelled on them? I don't like this. Not one bit.

Rin: Did you say something?

Len: What?

[Well, now that Gakupo's harsh rehearsals have been put to an end, what will become of our heroes now? What will become of their first performance as a group? Who tried to frame Luka for the incident with the Kagamine's road roller? Why did he or she do it so sloppily? And shouldn't Meiko see a psychologist or something? I guess we'll find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 A note at the bottom of the chart says "Owata!"

2One of the Japanese words for "beacon", "enka", is also the Japanese word for "smoke and mist".

3 There's a small bit of fine print that reads "Junk Robot, Inc." below the usage label.


	8. Chapter 8: Ladies and Gentlemen

Chapter 8: Ladies and Gentlemen, Project Vocaloid!

(camera fades in from black; we see Miku, Meiko, Kaito, Rin, Len, Gakupo, and Luka on a stage in concert; music plays in the background1)

Rin: A lonely program prepares to rise again for her users…

[Well, what have we here? It looks like our friends have drawn quite a crowd. Let's go see what's going on, shall we?]

Len: From Tokyo to Hokkaido, she stands ready to do what she does best…

Miku: (singing) These bright, but normal days come slowly,  
And leave a trail of pieces, falling one by one.  
I pick them up as I go along,  
And let them all come apart again and mingle in a stream of chaos.  
Even one short day,  
With just one picture of a garden filled with colors.  
Even that's gone away.  
And the days yet to come  
Are still just one blank slate.

Kaito: Now, she comes to usher in the dawn of a new age…

Miku: (singing) Just hear me out as I call out  
Into the sky above this disentangled planet.  
If anyone can hear me now,  
Please know that I'm still here, alive and well right now.  
Yes, I'm still here.

[This is some performance. (camera fades to black) I mean, and to think they'd get in some sort of trouble for singing that song. Anyway, (camera cuts to the Vocaloids in the lobby of Crypton Studios) one week earlier…]

Meiko: (normally) I'm just kidding. (lets go of Luka, who has spirals for eyes) I know it wasn't her. Besides, last time I checked, "Megurine" didn't have an "i" at the end.

Miku: (off screen) Luka-san. Luka-san. Are you okay?

Kaito: (wide eyed) Wow. And I thought you were scary when you were drunk.

Meiko: (smiling at Kaito) Meh, it's a gift.

Len: (looks away from Meiko and Kaito) (thinking) A homing beacon in Kaito's coat? A homing transceiver in our road roller? And both of said items with Luka's name misspelled on them? I don't like this. Not one bit.

Rin: Did you say something?

Len: What?

Rin: It sounded like you just said "A homing beacon in Kaito's coat? A homing transceiver in our road roller? And both of said items with Luka's name misspelled on them? I don't like this. Not one bit."

Len: Ugh. Since when could you read minds?

Miku: She can't, Len-kun. I heard it, too.

Len: Gah. Then I suppose you didn't uh… uh… (starts sweating profusely) You know… with the… (starts gesturing with his hands) thing… and uh…

Miku: No, Len-kun. You just forgot to stop talking while you were thinking. Don't worry. It happens to everybody.

Len: Phew. (under his breath) For a moment there, I thought you'd figured it out.

Miku: Figured what out?

Len: Nothing.

Miku: Oh, okay. (to Gakupo) So, uh, Gakupo-san, I was thinking. Maybe we should move on to practicing other songs.

Gakupo: What? You think we've done enough with "Go Go Mario!" already? I think it still needs work. That last rehearsal sounded like some kind of broken R2-D2.

Miku: That's because we rehearsed for hours nonstop, and we were tired.

Gakupo: I know, but if you don't know your limits, how will you know when enough is enough?

Miku: You couldn't care less, could you?

Gakupo: That's not true. You and the others are my friends, aren't you?

Miku: Friends don't treat each other without any concern for their well-being. We barely had time to get ready when you woke us up this morning.

Gakupo: Well, seeing as you're the only one who was still active in your singing career, Miku, I figured I could get you and the others back in the game by signing a record deal with you guys.

Miku: While it's true that I was the only one who still sang for the public before you signed us up, Gakupo-san, Luka-san told me you were desperate for new clientele.

Gakupo: I guess that's true, too. It's been tough getting by as head of Crypton Studios without any clients, but the biggest reason I called you up was because I missed you guys. Maybe I should've told Luka, not that she wouldn't have figured it out.

Miku: You really missed us? How uncharacteristically selfless of you.

Gakupo: (chuckles) I'm not Kaito; that's for sure. Speaking of which… (to Kaito) Hey, Kaito.

(camera cuts to Rin and Len playing Go while Kaito and Meiko look on)

Kaito: What?

Gakupo: Since I've been so hard on you and the others, why don't I treat you all to dinner after the concert?

Meiko, Kaito, Rin and Len: (emotions ranging from excited to shocked) A Concert? Wait, what? You never told us anything about a concert. Where? Will there be fireworks? Wow! Already? Etc.

Gakupo: Wait. (Meiko, Kaito, Rin, and Len stop talking) I signed us up to perform at Tokyo Tower next week. Think of it as a comeback performance.

Luka: I think they figured it out when you forced us to rehearse that song over and over again, Gakupo.

Rin: Isn't this great, Len? We finally get to perform again! And so soon, too!

Len: Yeah, yeah.

Meiko: Well, this is some surprise. I thought we were just rehearsing that song for a music video.

Kaito: And I thought we were rehearsing for some tacky grade school play.

Meiko: (laughing; Len rolls his eyes) Kaito, I'm pretty sure we'd know if we were rehearsing for a grade school play.

Luka: Eh, I stand thoroughly corrected.

Miku: N-next week? Gakupo-san, you can't be serious.

Gakupo: Oh, but I am serious, Miku. (to the others) Okay, people. Break time's over. Let's get back to business.

Luka: So, which song will you make us rehearse this time?

Gakupo: Well, Luka, since you asked, I've decided to forget it. I figure, why not just improvise?

Rin: Did you hear that?

Len: I have ears, Rin. I can hear.

Kaito: So, any ideas?

Meiko: I have just the one… (fade to black) (pause)

Miku: Uh, is something wrong, Meiko-san?

Meiko: Nah. I'm just doing this for dramatic effect. Why don't we start out with "Plug Out," Miku?

[And now, back to the performance we saw earlier…] (fade from black to Miku and co. on stage)

Miku: (singing) Just hear me out as I call out  
Into the sky above this disentangled planet.  
I feel lost and so alone.  
Does anybody know where I am right now?  
Yes, I'm still here.

Meiko: She can't do this alone. She needs help.

Miku: (singing) Just hear me out as I call out  
Into the sky above this disentangled planet.  
I have a song to sing for you.  
Please know that I'm still here, alive and well right now.  
Just hear me out.

(applause; music starts to fade)

[Ah, what a splendid performance, Miku. Too bad we can't (fade to black) see the rest of it. Meanwhile, (fade from black) somewhere else in Tokyo…] (we see a stranger in a black cloak resting in a warehouse)

Stranger: (breathing heavily) I think I lost them. If only I didn't have to run and hide like this. (looks around) Those bounty hunters are bound to find me any second, now. I'd better find another disguise, fast.

Suspicious Figure #11: (drops in from the ceiling) Can't let you do that, robot.

Stranger: (gasp)

[Oh, no. It looks like the mysterious figure in the black cloak is in a bit of a pickle. How will she…he…it…whatever…escape from this mess? And now that Miku and her friends are back together as singers, what does the future hold in store for them? I guess you'll just have to find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 This is part of a fandub for the song "Plug Out".


	9. Chapter 9: Destiny Awaits

Chapter 9: Destiny Awaits

(fade from black; we see Miku, Meiko, Kaito, Rin, Len, Gakupo, and Luka on a stage in concert; music plays in the background1) [And so, we find our heroes in the middle of their big comeback concert. It looks like the audience has been dying to see them perform again. Not literally, obviously. I mean, seven chapters ago, I told you that nobody dies in this story. Anyway, let's see what's going on.]

Meiko: As a new day dawns and you wake up once more, you feel compelled to carry on again.  
Since you can't change anything just by dreaming, you must act whenever you can.  
It is time to break free from the chains that bind you to the earth, then rise up  
And go headlong into the endless ocean that is time itself. What are you waiting for?  
Only when you go will you come even close to finding what unlocks your true inner strength.  
Even as I tell you these things, the key waits for you to claim.

All: Just stay true to the path of untainted light. Trust and believe its guiding resolve.  
Go forward and do not be afraid to make mistakes,  
For every trial and tragedy will only serve to strengthen your will and carry you through,  
So keep on going, no matter what it takes.  
Although you cannot control the path of the hands of time, no matter how you try,  
You can still follow your own dreams and create the future you most desire.  
What will you decide?  
Go out and find what it is you seek;  
Destiny awaits!

(interlude)

Rin: Once you find the truth that you've been hunting down, you'll feel compelled to carry on again.

Len: Should you stray too far from the path you've chosen, you may lose sight of your plan.

Miku: Now, it's time to overcome the barriers that hold you back, then rise up

Luka: And ascend unto the flowing sky in all its vice and majesty. What are you waiting for?

Kaito: Just as when a bird breaks from an egg and glimpses at the outside world for the first time,

Gakupo: So too must you take flight into the world rather than refrain.

All: So pay no heed to shadows that litter the road. All will attempt to lead you astray.  
Go on and resist any temptation they will make,  
For many fell apparitions will try to invoke untamed emotions within your soul.  
Just keep on going, no matter what it takes.  
Although you cannot control the path of the hands of time, no matter how you try,  
You can still follow your own wish and create the future you most require.  
What will you decide?  
Go out and find what it is you seek;  
Unity awaits!

Luka: Destiny awaits! (echo) (echo)  
Unity awaits! (echo) (echo)  
History awaits! (echo) (echo)

(solo)

Meiko, Kaito, and Miku: Behold the light and darkness that chases you down. Leave them behind and keep pressing on.

Rin, Len, and Gakupo: There is no reason to be weighed down by past mistakes.

All: For all your hopes and dreams keep on urging you on, even when you don't reach all your goals,  
So keep on going, no matter what it takes.  
Although you cannot control the path of eternity, no matter how you try,  
You can still blaze a trail of awe and lead others on the path you inspire.  
What will you decide?  
Go out and find what it is you seek;  
History awaits!

(interlude)

Destiny awaits!

(music stops; applause)

Gakupo: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you all! Thank you!

Luka: (under her breath) And there he goes, again.

[Well, too bad we can't see the Vocaloids' next song at the moment, (fade to black) because meanwhile, somewhere else in Tokyo…] (camera cuts to inside of a warehouse; we see a stranger in a black cloak confronted by a suspicious figure dressed in white with a red mask)

Suspicious Figure #11: Pretty sneaky of you blending into the crowd to try and get away from us. I'll admit, you're good, but I'm better.

Stranger: (thinks for a moment, as if wondering whose voice it was) Nice try, Akaito.

Akaito: (takes off his mask) Well, well, well. You ARE good.

(pause) [This is Akaito Nakamura2. He thinks he's Kaito's evil twin or something, but he's not. Kind of stupid if you ask me, not that anybody asks me. It doesn't make any sense. When was the last time I got to do this sort of narration sequence anyway? ] (resume)

Stranger: One word of advice: when you're a bounty hunter and you think you've got your prey cornered, never say, "I'll admit, you're good, but I'm better." Chances are you don't, and in the time it takes for you to say that phrase, your prey could escape.

Akaito: Oh, yeah? So why aren't you running away right now?

Stranger: Well, maybe because I was just telling you what I could've done.

Akaito: I see through your ploy. It's because you were just telling me what you could've done.

Stranger: That's what I just said.

Akaito: Yeah, but it's the way you said it.

Stranger: (sarcastically) Wow. You must have an IQ of 160 to have come up with that logic. (faking excitement) Oh my god! Akaito, Look! A chili pepper stand.

Akaito: Nice try, robot. You just want me to turn around so you can knock me out and get away.

Stranger: (singsong voice) They've got Naga Jolokias3.

Akaito: Okay, that's worth the risk. (turns around to find no chili pepper stand) (disappointed) Aw, crap. (Stranger knocks Akaito out with a stick4)

Stranger: (chuckle) You made that too easy. (starts running away)

[So off the mysterious stranger goes again. Will whoever or whatever it is succeed in eluding the bounty hunters that include…Akaito? And what plans do our friends, the Vocaloids, have after their big comeback concert? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 This scene showcases a fandub of the Vocaloid song, "FortuneDiver", part of the Urotanda song series. Hopefully, I didn't botch the meaning of the song too badly. Personally, I don't think the director pays me enough for this, but hey. I'm just the commentator.

2 This marks the first appearance of a fan made Vocaloid in Project Vocaloid. I decided to give Akaito the surname Nakamura partially because he's not official in any sense.

3 The Naga Jolokia, native to North-Eastern India, is, according to the Guinness Book of Records, the hottest chili pepper in the world, with a reading of over 1000000 SHU (Scoville heat units).

4 The words, "Be Myself", are painted on the stick.


	10. Chapter 10: Just Like Old Times

Chapter 10: Just Like Old Times

(camera fades in; we see Meiko, kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakkupo, and Luka on stage in front of a crowd of people) [And so, we find our heroes at the end of their big comeback performance, and judging from the sound of that crowd, it's been a smash hit. (camera fades to the Vocaloids sitting at a restaurant1, waiting to order) Now, they're waiting to have a well-deserved dinner together. Let's see what they're up to…]

Rin: (looking around in awe and excitement) Wow. You've really outdone yourself, Gakupo.

Gakupo: It's nothing, really. I reserved our spot the day after I signed you all up. (turns to the others) What do you think guys?

(camera cuts to view of the others; Meiko and Miku are playing Chopsticks2, Kaito and Len are talking about what to eat, and Luka is reading a magazine3 from the wall)

Miku: ("hits" Meiko's hand) Gotcha!

Meiko: D'oh! (smiles, as if very pleased) You win again, Miku.

Miku: I learned from the best. (giggle)

Gakupo: Guys?

Kaito: …and then what, Len?

Len: I uh, I don't know. That shrimp nyumen4 sounds appetizing. What about you, Kaito?

Kaito: I know what I'm NOT getting: anything with octopus in it.

Gakupo: Guys?

Luka: (looks up and puts away the magazine) Well, I've read that issue already, anyway. (to Gakupo) Oh, sure, Gakupo. You've done well.

Gakupo: Thanks, Luka. At least you're still paying attention.

Rin: Hey, guys. Somebody's coming.

(camera cuts to view of a waitress walking in; she's wearing a multicolored kimono with magenta highlights and carrying a notepad in one hand and a half-eaten anpan5 loaf in the other)

Waitress: Ah, good evening, everybody. (sets down the anpan on a nearby table and takes a pen from behind her ear) My name is-

Miku: Oh, Teto-kun. I didn't expect to see you here.

Teto: Miku? (looks up from notepad) Is that you?

(pause) [This is Teto Kasane6, an old friend of Miku's. She's a talented singer, but she prefers to work odd jobs rather than start a singing career. It doesn't really make sense, seeing as she'd make more money as an idol than a waitress, but who am I to judge? I'm the narrator.] (resume)

Miku: Still working odd jobs, I see, Teto-kun.

Teto: Yep. I guess you just can't keep me tied down no matter how hard you try. How've you been, Miku?

Miku: Just fine. We've all come here from our big comeback concert, thanks to Gakupo-san.

Teto: That's great, Miku. Too bad I couldn't go; today's been a pretty busy day for me. Anyway, what can I get you and your friends tonight?

Miku: I'll have some zaru soba, please.

Meiko: Shabu-shabu, please.

Rin: Unadon.

Len: Shrimp nyumen, please.

Kaito: I'll have okonomiyaki, but no mayonnaise.

Luka: Tekkadon, thank you.

Gakupo: I guess that leaves me with the tuna tataki.

Miku: Also, we'd like an order of tempura to share.

Teto: (mumbling, writing all orders down) Shabu-shabu, unadon, tekkadon, nyumen… (normally) Okay, got it. I'll be back soon. (puts pen behind her ear, then picks up anpan7 and walks away)

Miku: See you later. (turns to the others)

Rin: Who was that?

Miku: That was Teto-kun, a friend of mine from high school. Back then, she was quite obsessed with trying out "get rich quick" schemes, mostly the ones she thought would fail humorously.

Len: Why would she do that?

Miku: I don't know; she kept telling me she just wanted to try them out and see what happened. Of course, I thought she was just being funny; Neru-kun always thought she was stupid.

Rin: Neru? You mean that mean, blond girl who never stopped texting on her cell phone?

Miku: That's her.

Rin: The same girl who hung me on Mr. Akimoto's fence by my underwear three years ago, just because Len said her middle school uniform made her look like a sailor?

Miku: Right again, and rest assured, she didn't get away with it.

Len: Besides, Rin, I'm pretty sure you're the one who made that comment.

(camera cuts to the entrance of the restaurant; we see Neru enter, staring at her cell phone)

Neru: (closes her cell phone) Pfft. Nothing.

(pause) [This is Neru Akita, another old friend of Miku's. She'd rather be by herself texting than anything else, and because of that, her grades in school have suffered greatly. She's not stupid or anything, just overly pessimistic.] (resume)

Miku: (notices Neru by the entrance) Oh, Neru-kun! Hello, there!

Neru: Oh, it's you guys. How did your big comeback concert go?

Miku: It was great. Did you go?

Neru: No, and I never planned to, especially when I heard that little psychopath and her (camera cuts to Rin and Len) spineless brother would be in it as well.

Rin: Hey! I'm NOT a psychopath!

Len: Ignore her.

Rin: Don't tell me to ignore her, Len!

Neru: Case in point.

Miku: Easy, Neru. (to Rin and Len) Now, there. Neru's a bit rough around the edges, but she's not so bad once you get to know her. Please bear with her.

Rin: Bear with her? Didn't you hear what she just-?

Teto: (suddenly rushes in with the last of her anpan in her mouth) Oh, I almost forgot. What do you guys want to drink? (swallows)

Miku: Oh, I'll have milk tea, please.

Meiko: Sake, please.

Kaito: Ramune.

Rin: Orange juice.

Len: Yakult, please.

Luka: Just mugicha, thank you.

Gakupo: Then that leaves me with genmaicha.

Teto: (mumbling, writing all orders down) Uh huh, genmaicha, orange juice, yakult… (normally) Okay, got it. I'll be back. (runs off)

Neru: And off she goes, just like old times. (to Miku) I suppose her antics kind of grow on you after a while, don't they?

Miku: True. And I've grown to like Rin-kun and Len-kun as little siblings. Sure there are times where we don't see eye to eye, but we look out for each other, like I am right now. That's what friends are for.

Neru: Yeah. You're right, Miku. (looks and notices another waiter coming towards her) I have to go, now; I can't keep my appointment waiting.

Miku: Bye, Neru-kun. See you soon.

Teto: (rushes back with everybody's orders on a cart) (panting heavily) Okay, I'm back.

Luka: Wow. That was fast.

Teto: It has to be; this place is always busiest at this time of night. Anyway, (hurriedly hands out everybody's dishes and drinks) here's your order…and here's yours, mister…and yours…and yours…and here's your order…and your order…and your order, ma'am. (wipes her forehead) There. Enjoy. (starts to leave with the cart)

Miku: Thank you, Teto-kun.

(happy music starts playing in the background8)

Gakupo: Now, then, I propose a toast to our joyous reunion and successful comeback.

Luka: Cut that to just "joyous reunion" and I second that.

Gakupo: Okay, then. A toast to our joyous reunion.

Kaito: And many days ahead together, just like before.

Meiko: Count me in.

Rin: Us too. (looks at Len, who smiles back)

Miku: May all our time together be memorable and blessed.

All: (raise their cups to the center of the table) Cheers! (camera slowly fades to black)

(camera fades in to slideshow of Vocaloids eating and talking) [Aw, how sweet. The Vocaloids are all officially back together again. Well, they were all back together again up until now, but now it's official. I mean I don't know how long it's been since they all last sang together, but I assume they really missed that time. Oh, well. What new adventures lay in store for our friends? What new memories will they share together? And…how DID their food get to them so quickly? Find out in the next episode of Project Vocaloid. (pause) Where's that music coming from?]

1 I researched quite a few restaurants in Tokyo, but I couldn't decide which one to depict here.

2 Chopsticks is a hand game in which the goal is to knock out the other opponent's "hands" by giving both hands five or more points thus "knocking out" the hands.

3 This is a recent issue of a magazine titled "Go Google It".

4 Nyumen is a hot variation of somen, a dish of thin white wheat noodles served chilled with a dipping sauce.

5 Anpan is a sweet bun filled with red bean (anko) paste.

6 Teto is one of many fan made Vocaloids based around Miku's voice and one of the few to have a significantly high profile among Vocaloid fans.

7 The wrapper is labeled "Sleeper (Tie)".

8 The song playing in the background is "Nice Days".


	11. Chapter 11: The Dark Stars

Chapter 11: The Dark Stars

(camera fades in to aerial view of Tokyo) [It's been an eventful week for our friends so far. To recap… (freeze frame of Kaito and Miku in Miku's apartment) Here's Kaito getting a call from Meiko at Miku's apartment. (freeze frame of Rin and Len crashing into Meiko's house) Here's Rin and Len running over Kaito and crashing their road roller into Meiko's house. (freeze frame of narrator arguing with Gakupo) Here's me arguing with Gakupo over the role of the narrator. (freeze frames of embarrassing footage of the narrator rapidly flash) And here-hey, how'd that get in-who posted-Okay. Who's in charge of the freeze frames?1 All right. (camera cuts to Vocaloids exiting the restaurant they were at) Anyway, we find our friends returning to Crypton Studios, happy to be together again]

Meiko: Ah, that was great, Gakupo. You really outdid yourself this time.

Miku: I just wish we could come here more often.

Gakupo: Thank you. You're too kind.

Luka: Gakupo, not to be the bringer of bad news, but that meal cost almost ¥20000.

Gakupo: Yeah, so, what's your point, Luka? (looks at Luka with a slightly seductive look in his eyes)

Luka: (rolls her eyes) Never mind.

[But in the midst of their merriment, (camera cuts to view of Suspicious Figure #5 some distance away) trouble is brewing.]

Suspicious figure #5: Oh my god. It's them. Well, it's a good thing they can't hear me.

Rin: Did you hear something?

Len: What?

Rin: It sounded like somebody just said "Oh my god. It's them. Well, it's a good thing they can't hear me."

Meiko: Yeah, I heard it too.

Suspicious Figure #5: Ugh. Well, it's a good thing they can't see me.

Kaito: Hey, look. There's somebody behind that fruit stand. (camera cuts to view of Suspicious Figure #5's head partially exposed behind a nearby fruit stand)

Miku: Why is he just sitting there?

Suspicious Figure #5: (notices the Vocaloids are headed his way; jumps out from behind the fruit stand) Nice try, but you'll never get me to reveal the location of our secret hideout. Never!

Kaito: What secret hideout?

Suspicious Figure #5: Ugh. Tricky beast. You got me to reveal information.

Luka: What are you talking abo-?

Suspicious Figure #5: Well, you can't catch what (pulls out a smoke bomb) you can't see! (throws the smoke bomb at the ground, which detonates and generates a thick cloud of smoke)

All: (cough) (cough) Where'd he go? What's with the smoke bombs? Did you see him? I can't see anything. Kaito-san? Ooh, ninja. Is that you? Etc.

Suspicious Figure #5: (reappears beside the restaurant door) Ha! Another successful evasion. I'd say I've (turns around) done… (sees the Vocaloids staring at him) Aw, crap. (pulls out another smoke bomb and detonates it on the ground, generating a thick cloud of smoke) (reappears beside the fruit stand) Ha ha ha… (turns around; sees the Vocaloids staring at him) Aw, crap. (pulls out another smoke bomb and detonates it on the ground, generating a thick cloud of smoke) (reappears beside the restaurant door) Ha ha ha… (turns around; sees the Vocaloids staring at him) Aw, crap. (pulls out another smoke bomb and detonates it on the ground, generating a thick cloud of smoke) (reappears beside the fruit stand) Ha ha ha… (turns around; sees the Vocaloids staring at him) Aw, crap. (pulls out another smoke bomb and detonates it on the ground, generating a thick cloud of smoke) (reappears beside the restaurant door) Ha ha ha… (turns around; sees the Vocaloids staring at him) Aw, crap. (pulls out another smoke bomb and detonates it on the ground, generating a thick cloud of smoke)

Meiko: All right. I've had about enough of this. (picks up a watermelon from the fruit stand, then raises it over her head)

Suspicious Figure #5: (reappears beside the fruit stand) Ha ha-

(Meiko slams the watermelon on Suspicious Figure #5's head, knocking him out; the watermelon splits in half)

Rin: Yay! Watermelon! Watermelon!

Len: What was that for?

Rin: Oh, nothing. I just felt like saying that.

Miku: Shouldn't you have paid for that first, Meiko-san?

Meiko: Aw, crap! Oh, well. I'll just pay the owner when he gets here.

(camera cuts to view of Suspicious Figure #1 on the rooftop of a building, looking through a pair of binoculars)

Suspicious Figure #1: (sigh) (lowers binoculars) That's the last time I hire ninja fanatics to do a retrieval job. He didn't even go for the right person. (prepares com link)

(pause) [This is Black Rock Shooter2. She's a bounty hunter and scientist of many disciplines. Her true identity and motives are as yet unknown, even to her subordinates in her organization, the Dark Stars.] (resume)

Black Rock Shooter: Black Rock Shooter to Red Baron, have you located the target? (pause) Black Rock Shooter to Red Baron, do you copy? (pause; closes com link; prepares com link) Black Rock Shooter to Night Root, have you located the target?

Voice: Negative, Suspicious Figure #1, eh, I mean Black Rock Shooter. Seriously, why can't I just go by Suspicious Figure #2? It's much harder to guess who I am if you call me that.

Black Rock Shooter: True, but it gives away your intentions more easily. Can you confirm Red Baron's location? He's not responding to my com link.

Voice: I last saw him headed into an abandoned warehouse in pursuit of the target, and he never came out. Why are we chasing this robot again?

Black Rock Shooter: That's of no concern to you. Retrieve Red Baron and report back to base ASAP.

Voice: Copy. Over and out. (com link closes)

Black Rock Shooter: Why do I have to work with amateurs?

[Why indeed? What motives could she possibly have for acquiring this target she speaks of? Where do all of these people keep coming from? Who is the mysterious stranger in the black cloak running around Tokyo? What could this mean for Miku and her friends? And…where'd that guy get so many smoke bombs? Stay tuned for the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 Sorry, sir. I just couldn't resist.

2 I'm not sure whether Black Rock Shooter counts as part of the Vocaloid universe or not, but I assume she is, judging from the fact that there's a Vocaloid song about her.


	12. Chapter 12: Not So Secret Agents

Chapter 12: Not So Secret Agents

(view of Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, and Luka riding back to Crypton Studios in a bus, which Gakupo is driving) [And so, Miku and her friends return to Crypton Studios with full stomachs and high spirits. Miku even got to see two of her old friends as well. The future looks bright for them all as they celebrate their reunion. (camera fades to back alley, where we see a stranger in a black cloak running) But all is not well for everyone in scenic Tokyo, for as our heroes return home, trouble starts to brew.]

Stranger: (looks around, then hides behind a wall) (thinking) There aren't enough hiding spots from this point onward, and the crowds are wearing dangerously thin. I've got to think of something, fast. For all I know, those bounty hunters could still be on my tail.

(cut to Suspicious Figure #2 standing over Akaito)

Suspicious Figure #2: Good morning, pepper brains.

Akaito: (gets up, clutching his head) (groans) Oh, it's you. Any luck locating the target since I got knocked out, Miku?

Miku Z: I told you never to call me that.

(pause) [This is Miku Zatsune, a low-level agent of the Dark Stars. After she was rejected by Crypton in favor of Miku Hatsune, she swore revenge on her for taking what she believed was rightfully hers. Fortunately, she quickly forgot all about it.] (resume)

Akaito: Fine. Any luck locating the target… (makes quotation signs with his fingers) Suspicious Figure #2?

Miku Z: No. The boss told me to come here and get you, then return to base. I still don't understand why she wants that dumb robot. She can always build a new one.

Akaito: Maybe, she made some kind of program and installed it in the robot, and now she wants that program back to back it up.

Miku Z: Or maybe, the robot is some kind of power source that the boss wants to use for her own diabolical ends.

Voice: Or maybe, you two can stop talking about your boss' plans and come quietly.

Akaito and Miku Z: (turn around to see a police officer) Aw, crap.

Akaito: Let's get out of here. (starts to run away)

Officer: (grabs Akaito by his scarf, then hits him on the head with a paper fan1) Who are you? What are you doing here?

Akaito: We know nothing. We're just low level agents.

Miku Z: What are you talking about? They tell us all about the plan.

Officer: (hits Akaito on the head with a paper fan) Who sent you?

Akaito: We don't know. They work in secret

Miku Z: Secret? I just got a call from the boss a few minutes ago.

Officer: (hits Akaito on the head with a paper fan) Where's Tama? What have you done to him?

Akaito: We'll never tell.

Miku Z: That's only because we have no idea who this "Tama2" person is. For all we know, he could be some kind of deranged, rabid animal.

Akaito: Miku, you're not helping. Wait. What?

Officer: Oh, sorry, ma'am. My mistake. You see, my cat disappeared one day, and he was last seen here in this warehouse. You can go about your business.

Miku Z: In bed.

Akaito: Stop saying that.

Officer: (turns attention to Akaito) As for you… (hits Akaito on the head with a paper fan)

Akaito: Why do you keep hitting me?

Officer: I have no idea, but I'm enjoying it profusely. Now, both of you get out of here before I change my mind. (lets go of Akaito's scarf)

Miku Z: Okay. Run away. (she and Akaito run off)

Officer: Well, that was pointless. (walks away)

(cut to outside of warehouse)

Miku Z: (prepares com link) Suspicious Figure #2 to base. Do you read me?

Voice: Oh, it's you, Night Root. Have you recovered Red Baron?

Miku Z: Affirmative. He says the target knocked him out before he could get it. We ran into a cop, but he was just looking for his cat.

Voice: Still, that doesn't excuse the fact that now he could figure out our plans soon. Return to base ASAP; I'll debrief you there.

Miku Z: Copy that. Over and out. (closes com link) (pause)

Akaito: Ugh. The boss is going to kill us when we get back. I'm really starting to hate this part of the job.

Miku Z: In bed.

Akaito: Stop that.

Miku Z: Oh, come on. I never have any fun with you… (pause)

Akaito: If I can rip your skull out of your head and beat you to death with it, say "In bed" one more time.

Miku Z: That doesn't seem physically possible. Let's just head back to base. Okay?

Akaito: Okay, but as much as I hate this job, I want to keep it, so when we go there, don't say anything stupid.

Miku Z: Okey dokey, pal.

Akaito: Miku, this is serious.

Miku Z: Oh. (clears throat) (more sternly) Okey dokey, pal. I'm serious now. This is my serious voice. I'm so serious, even the jokes I tell are serious.

Akaito: That's not the- (sigh) Never mind. (heads off, with Miku Z in tow)

[Well, this is a rather odd plot twist. What are these agents of the Dark Stars hunting for? Who is the mysterious stranger in the black cloak? Who is Black Rock Shooter? What are her motives? Will she succeed in recovering whatever it is she's hunting? I don't really care; I get paid either way. Be sure to stay tuned for the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 The words, "Reverse Rainbow", are written on the fan.

2 "Tama" is a generic Japanese cat name.


	13. Chapter 13: Out of the Frying Pan

Chapter 13: Out of the Frying Pan…

(we see scenes of the Vocaloids back at Crypton Studios doing various activities, including reading, sleeping, and talking) [And so, we find ourselves following our heroes once again, which, all things considered, is a good thing. I was getting sick and tired of following that mysterious stranger in the hope that whoever it was would reveal himself or herself. I guess we'll never know. Anyway, they've just come back from a big comeback concert and a well earned dinner, courtesy of Gakupo Kamui. (fade to next morning; we see Kaito in the kitchen, making breakfast) And it looks like today will be another great day for them. Let's see what they're up to…]

Kaito: (to himself)1

Every day that I walk the lonely land,  
I find myself alone upon this hilltop.  
And so I let all my thoughts roam free, high into the sky.  
The soft wind carries flower petals by;  
How they make me long to see your smiling face, again.  
Memories slowly creep back to my mind  
Like an old, sepia film passing by my eyes.

Meiko: (walks in through the front door with a towel around her neck2) Good morning, Kaito.

Kaito: (stops singing) Oh, Meiko. Hi, there. How long have you been awake?

Meiko: Oh, about an hour or so. You should try going to the gym on the ground floor sometime. The pool's great.

Kaito: Oh, I see.

Meiko: Are the others awake, yet?

Kaito: Nope. Just you, me, and breakfast for everybody when they do wake up. And before you ask, no; I haven't considered calling room service. Those guys are animals.

Meiko: (chuckle) I know. Remember the time when…? (fade to white)

(fade from white; we see Meiko on her cell phone with a menu in her hand; Kaito is nearby, eating an ice cream cone)

Meiko: (frustrated) No, I said "motsunabe3", not "lots of eBay"… And I won't slice my fingers thin…What do you mean "Register does not contain more than 50 swordfish"? This is serious!

Rin: When are we going to eat, Meiko? We're starving.

Len: What do you think she's doing?

Meiko: (angrily) Okay, forget this. I'm ordering take out. (hangs up) (fade to white)

(fade from white to Kaito making breakfast)

Kaito: Didn't that happen last week?

Meiko: Yes it did. You took an unusually long time to finish that ice cream. What was with you?

Kaito: I didn't expect the food to come for quite a while, so I wanted to make it last. Besides, you wouldn't let me cook dinner for the rest of you.

Meiko: What were you planning to cook, your socks? All we had left was a pint of ice cream—which you ate—half a burned piece of eel, a pressed flower Miku left in the fridge for some reason, a leek prop, a Super Mushroom prop, and a wad of chewed gum.

Kaito: Oh. Good point.

Meiko: You're still so oblivious. (smiles at Kaito) But, I've always liked that about you.

Kaito: Huh? What are you trying to tell me? (smoke alarm goes off, followed by a loud thunk) (turns around) (cut to an overflowing pot, a smoking toaster, and a skillet on fire) Oh no! (runs over to the stove ant turns it off, then proceeds to bat the burning skillet with an oven mitt) Meiko, quick, get a fire extinguisher or something!

Gakupo: (runs in with a fire extinguisher4 in his hands) How about this? (sprays the burning skillet and Kaito with the fire extinguisher)

Kaito: (flails his arms and coughs) Gakupo, stop! Aaagh! Etc.

Gakupo: (stops spraying) Sorry, Kaito. I had to do what I had to do to put that fire out.

Kaito: (spits out powder and dusts himself off) Thanks. By the way, did you hear a loud thunk coming from the table when the fire alarm went off?

Meiko: (looks down, notices Miku unconscious under a table) No, but I think she did.

Len: (walks in, rubbing his eyes) What was all that racket? Rin and I were sleeping soundly in our room, when suddenly, the fire alarm went off and Rin started screaming bloody murder.

(cut to Rin and Len's bedroom)

Rin: (running around in circles, flapping her arms) BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

(cut to kitchen)

Kaito: Sorry. I was making breakfast for you all when you woke up.

Luka: (walks in from her room with a Tako Luka5 plush doll on her head) That explains the smoke coming from the stove. I'm surprised I managed to sleep through that.

Meiko: (notices the doll on Luka's head) Aw, how cute. You never told me you had a doll, Luka.

Luka: Oh, this? (takes the doll off her head) I-it's not a doll; it's a hat.

Meiko: Right. A hat that just happens to look and feel like a doll, and therefore, a doll you can wear on your head.

Luka: Uh…uh… (puts the doll behind her back) (embarrassed) Uh, I'll be right back. (runs back into her room)

Gakupo: Tell me, Kaito, why didn't you just call room service?

Kaito: I didn't think it would be right. Besides, the last time we called room service, Meiko almost broke her cell phone in half because they never got our orders right.

Gakupo: Then why didn't you go downstairs and bring up some food from the café?

Kaito: There's a café on the ground floor? You never told me about that.

Gakupo: Then why didn't you just go to that take-out place across the street?

Meiko: Well, now that you mention it, it's kind of my fault, Gakupo. I just got back from the gym on the ground floor, and then Kaito got distracted and turned his back unwittingly. He's just telling you that because he doesn't want anybody else to take the blame.

Gakupo: Oh, I can understand that. No harm done.

Len: Uh, guys? I hate to be the bringer of bad news, but that toaster's still smoking. (cut to smoking toaster6)

Meiko: I got it. (grabs fire extinguisher from Gakupo's hands, then sprays toaster) What did you put in there anyway, Kaito?

Kaito: Just a couple of waffles; why do you ask?

Luka: (walks in) That brand of toaster's one of the least favorably reviewed brands ever. Why Gakupo even has them is beyond me.

Gakupo: What? They make good toast, don't they?

Luka: That's all they're good for: sliced bread. For anything else, including waffles, they might as well be broken.

Len: (notices Miku under the table, walks over to Miku) Hey, Miku, are you oka-? (cut to Miku, who has spirals for eyes) (cut back to Len) I'll take that as a "no".

Rin: (runs in, flapping her arms) BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

Kaito: Okay, Rin. You can stop that now.

Rin: (stops flapping her arms) Hang on I'm not done yet. (resumes flapping her arms) BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER! (stops flapping her arms, starts breathing heavily) Okay. Now, I'm done. So, what did I miss?

Meiko: You want the long version or the short version? The long version is… (fade to white)

(fade from white back to Kaito in the kitchen)

Meiko: (walks in through the front door with a towel around her neck) Good morning, Kaito.

Kaito: Oh, Meiko. Hi, there. How long have you been awake?

Meiko: Oh, about an hour or so. You should try going to the gym on the ground floor sometime. The pool's great.

Kaito: Oh, I see.

Meiko: Are the others awake, yet?

Kaito: Nope. Just you, me, and breakfast for everybody when they do wake up. And before you ask, no; I haven't considered calling room service. Those guys are animals.

Meiko: (chuckle) I know. Remember the time when I called room service and all I got back from them was gibberish? (wipes her brow with the towel) It took me forever to get our orders through.

Kaito: Oh, yeah. You shouted a lot that night. (turns to face Meiko) But didn't that happen last week?

Meiko: Yes it did. You took an unusually long time to finish that ice cream. What was with you?

Kaito: I didn't expect the food to come for quite a while, so I wanted to make it last. Besides, you wouldn't let me cook dinner for the rest of you.

Meiko: What were you planning to cook, your socks? All we had left was a pint of ice cream—which you ate—half a burned piece of eel, a pressed flower Miku left in the fridge for some reason, a leek prop, a Super Mushroom prop, and a wad of chewed gum.

Kaito: Oh. Good point.

Meiko: You're still so oblivious. (smiles at Kaito) But, I've always liked that about you.

Kaito: Huh? What are you trying to tell me? (smoke alarm goes off, followed by a loud thunk) (turns around) (cut to an overflowing pot, a smoking toaster, and a skillet on fire) Oh no! (runs over to the stove ant turns it off, then proceeds to bat the burning skillet with an oven mitt) Meiko, quick, get a fire extinguisher or something!

Gakupo: (runs in with a fire extinguisher in his hands) How about this? (sprays the burning skillet and Kaito with the fire extinguisher)

Kaito: (flails his arms and coughs) Gakupo, stop! Aaagh! Etc. (fade to white)

(fade from white)

Meiko: And the short version is: work out, room service, ignorance, food flare.

Rin: Okay. Say, where's Miku?

(cut to Miku under the table with spirals for eyes) (cut to others in the kitchen)

Len: She, um… wanted to sleep a bit longer.

Gakupo: Don't worry everybody. I have just the answer to our little breakfast problem…

[And I assume you'll tell us after you finish pausing dramatically, Gakupo? Oh, well. I guess that's your job, I mean besides look over Crypton Studios and all. What does Gakupo have in store for the others this time? Why is Luka so ashamed of having a piece of licensed merchandise for a security item? And will Miku ever recover from her panic-induced coma? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 Kaito is singing "Sen'nen no Dokusouka," meaning "Thousand-Year Solo" in Japanese. The lyrics you see are part of a fandub.

2 The words, "Higashi no Akatsuki Nishi no Tasogare", are embroidered on the towel.

3 Motsunabe is a nabemono that includes beef offal, Chinese cabbage, and various vegetables cooked in a light soup base.

4 The fire extinguisher has a label that reads "Brightny, Inc."

5 Tako Luka is basically a miniature version of Luka, or rather; it's Luka's head with octopus tentacles for hair. Apparently, it's some sort of fan rendition of Luka.

6 The toaster's brand name is "Luck-A".


	14. Chapter 14: All Fun and Games

Chapter 14: All Fun and Games

(we see Meiko and Luka playing shogi1 in the main room of the Vocaloids' suite) [And so, after a bit of a mishap with Kaito's breakfast plans, we find our heroes (cut to Rin running down the halls with Len in pursuit, trying to get her to slow down) exploring the vastness of the cosmos that is the residence building of (cut to Miku holding a bag of chips and a DVD2 at a counter with a cashier behind it) Crypton Studios, which is kind of odd, since they didn't (cut to Kaito and Gakupo playing DDR in Gakupo's office) do this when they first moved in.]

(music stops; Kaito and Gakupo get off the dance mats3)

Kaito: Why didn't you tell me there was a gym on the ground floor, Gakupo?

Gakupo: This is the residence building of one of the most renowned media producers in all of Japan. Why wouldn't there be a gym? (pause) Also, you didn't ask.

Kaito: Right. So, um, does this place have a-?

Gakupo: No, Kaito. There's no ice cream parlor here.

Kaito: …judo club?

Gakupo: (pause) No.

[Nonetheless, they explore, (cut to Rin and Len playing Soul Calibur 44 at an arcade) and discover more and more of what they've been missing.]

(cut to Miku walking by the arcade on the ground floor, singing to herself5)

Miku: I know these wonderful days  
Will all just die away someday.  
If only time would stop just for one moment…  
My only wish is to sing  
That song that only you could bring.  
Could you let me off for now?  
I need a moment's rest.

(hears shouting from the arcade, stops singing, then walks into arcade)

(cut to Rin and Len at the Soul Calibur 4 arcade; the character select screen is displayed6)

Rin: You got lucky that time, and you know it, Len!

Len: So what if I did? It's not my fault Raphael has such a good ring out game.

Rin: And I suppose letting yourself get beat up was part of some elaborate scheme to get me to lose?

Len: You ran away from me and jumped out of the ring in the final round. How's that part of an elaborate scheme?

Miku: Hi, Rin-kun. Hi, Len-kun. How long have you two been here?

Rin: Oh, hi, Miku. We've been here for the past, uh…

Len: (glances at his watch sleeve) 28 minutes.

Rin: Yeah. Exactly.

Miku: Well, you two look like you're having fun. Mind if I join?

Len: Not at all. Go ahead.

Miku: Okay. I play winner next round.

Rin: Okay, but you don't get to use our usernames.

Miku: Don't worry. I won't.

Rin: (to Len) Okay, Len. You're not beating me this time. (chooses Xianghua)

Len: You're still going on about that? It's just a game. (chooses Random)

Miku: Just try not to get in each other's hair, okay?

Rin: Just how immature do you think we are, Miku?

Miku: Well, I heard you screaming from the outside of the arcade and I saw you acting like a sore loser, Rin-kun. Please try to cut back on that.

Rin: Okay.

(cut to arcade screen; we see the battle commencing7)

(cut to Meiko and Luka playing shogi in the main room of their suite)

Luka: (captures Meiko's king with her knight)

Meiko: (shakes her head) (sigh) You win again, Luka.

Luka: You are improving; this time, it took me 41 moves to win.

Meiko: Yeah. It kind of reminds me of when Miku taught you how to play this game.

Luka: Huh? (fade to white)

(fade from white to scene of Miku and Luka with a shogi board and pieces between them)

Luka: So, Miku-san, what's (holds up a gold general piece) this piece?

Miku: Um, that's a gold general; it can move one space in any direction except diagonally backwards.

Luka: What about (holds up a lance piece) this piece?

Miku: It's a lance; it can move any number of spaces forward.

Luka: And (holds up a chip) this piece?

Miku: (giggle) That's a potato chip.

Luka: (chuckle) I know. I'm just kidding. (fade to white)

(fade from white to Meiko and Luka in the main room of their suite; Luka is setting up another shogi game)

Luka: (sigh) Good times. I wonder what little Miku's up to right now.

Meiko: She went downstairs to get some chips and a movie for us to watch tonight. She's probably still down there, playing some kind of game with Rin and Len.

(cut to Miku and Len playing Soul Calibur 4 at the arcade8; Miku wins)

Miku: Wow. That was a close match, Len-kun. You're really good at this game.

Len: Yeah. (looks down for a moment) Thanks, Miku.

Rin: Aha! You let her win, didn't you?

Len: What? Of course not; I just picked the Random option and wound up with-.

Miku: Both of you stop it. We all had fun, right? (Rin nods) Okay. Now, I've got to get these items back upstairs; Meiko-san wants to watch a movie tonight. See you later. (starts to walk away)

[So our friends' little escapade throughout their home away from home continues. What plans do they have in store for the days to come? Be sure to stay in touch for the next chapter of Project Vocaloid. (pause) This is getting very repetitive. (leaves the booth) I'm going to go balance my check book…or…check my…balance…book…]

1 Shogi is basically the Japanese equivalent of chess.

2 The label on the bag of chips reads "Imitator", and the movie title is "Howl's Moving Castle".

3 The song Kaito and Gakupo just finished is "Byakkoya no Musume".

4 Here, Rin plays as Xianghua and Len plays as Raphael; Rin appears to be winning.

5 This is part of a fandub for the song, "Innocence".

6 Here, we see Rin and Len's usernames: "Rin Rin Signal" and "Username" respectively.

7 Rin plays as Xianghua, while Len plays as Yoshimitsu.

8 Here, Miku plays as Talim while Len plays as Nightmare; Miku's username is "Electric Angel".


	15. Chapter 15: The Stage is Set

Chapter 15: The Stage is Set…

(scene of Meiko and Luka playing shogi in the main room of the Vocaloids' suite) [And so, we find our heroes scurrying around the residence building of Crypton Studios. Well, not exactly (cut to Miku and Rin playing Soul Calibur 41 in the arcade while Len watches) scurrying, but you get the picture. Anyway, let's see what they're up to, shall we?]

Announcer: K.O.

Rin: You've got to be kidding me! You said you'd go easy on me that time, Miku!

Miku: I did; this time, I didn't use any throws or guard impacts. Sorry, Rin-kun.

Rin: (sigh) Geez. What's wrong with me? That's the fifth time in a row I've lost.

Len: Oh, really. (walks up to the arcade) About a week ago, you said you only played for fun.

Rin: I was talking about Mario Kart Wii when I said that; it's not as competitive as Soul Calibur 4.

Len: Feh. If you ask me, it's way more competitive. You're not up against just one opponent; you're up against multiple (chooses Random on character select) opponents.

Rin: Yeah, but all your opponents in that game are cartoon characters; these guys are real people.

Miku: Well, technically, no, (chooses Talim on character select) but we get the idea. (to Len) Ready, Len-kun?

Len: I won't lose this time. Or maybe I will…

(cut to Kaito and Gakupo leaving Gakupo's office)

Gakupo: "And that's the story of how my brother met your grandmother." (chuckle) The old man always told such wild tales about our family history.

Kaito: I'll bet. Too bad I never had such wacky relatives.

Gakupo: What about your sister, Kaiko?

Kaito: For the hundredth time, she's not my sister! She's just some overly obsessed fangirl who claims she's related to me somehow, just like all the other stupid Kaito look-alikes. I mean, I've been nice, stood for photos, signed every scrap of paper they pushed at me, and tolerated it, but that? (grabs his hair) AAAAGH! It's just so frustrating!

Gakupo: Wow. And here I thought you'd actually enjoy the company of such devoted fans. You know what they say; imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Kaito: Gakupo, you obviously haven't met any of these nutcases… (fade to white)

(fade from white to Kaito standing in front of an ice cream truck; Akaito runs over to him)

Akaito: Hey, Kaito!

Kaito: Huh? Who are you?

Akaito: Don't you recognize your long lost identical twin brother when you see him?

Kaito: I would if I had one, but I don't.

Akaito: Sure you do! It's me, Akaito Nakamura. Remember?

Kaito: First of all, my surname is Shion, not Nakamura. Second, I'm an only child. Third, you don't look anything like me. You're all dressed in red and you have red hair and red eyes; my hair and eyes are clearly blue.

(cut to Kaito at a pet shop; Kaiko runs over to him)

Kaiko: Hey, big brother. Remember me?

Kaito: What the-? Who are you supposed to be?

Kaiko: Why, I'm your sweet, adorable little sister, Kaiko Kogaku.

Kaito: You're kidding, right? The last time I checked, I was an only child. And for the record, my surname's not Kogaku; it's Shion.

(cut to Kaito and Kikaito at a construction site)

Kikaito: No, really. I'm your father's brother's nephew's-

(cut to Kaito and Taito at a bar)

Taito: Cousin's great aunt's sister's step niece's-

(cut to Kaito and Akaiko at a baseball game)

Akaiko: Daughter's mother's 4th cousin's brother's-

(cut to Kaito and Kikaiko at a karaoke club)

Kikaiko: Uncle's son's niece's grandmother's-

(cut to Kaito and Nigaito at an arboretum)

Nigaito: Great nephew's aunt's brother's father's-

(cut to Kaito and MoKAITO at a river)

MoKAITO: Sister's grandson's cousin's brother's-

(cut to Kaito and Mekaito at a steel mill)

Mekaito: Former roommate.

Kaito: (pause) Uh, no. You're not… (fade to white)

(fade from white to Kaito and Gakupo approaching the Vocaloid's suite)

Gakupo: (wide eyed) I never thought your fans could be so demented.

Kaito: It's one of the reasons I quit being an "idol," for lack of a better word, before your great uncle disappeared.

Gakupo: Then why did you become one in the first place? Rin originally did it because she wanted to show the world what she could do, Len did it to keep an eye on Rin, Meiko did it because her father was in the hospital after that big shoot out, Luka did it to support her grandparents back in Okayama, and Miku… she did it because she just loves singing.

Kaito: Really? That's pretty much the same reason I became an "idol". What about you?

Gakupo: Me? I don't know. I guess I just felt like I needed the admiration I felt I deserved. These days, all my skills as a samurai are good for is showing off, not that they're anything to laugh at.

Kaito: I see. I wonder what Meiko and Luka are up to.

Gakupo: Probably playing some shogi marathon or watching TV. Or maybe they're sleeping in for the day. (grabs the door knob) (chuckle) They could be getting drunk for all I care. (opens the door; a bucket of water falls from the door and lands on Gakupo's head, soaking him2) (flails his arms and runs around) (muffled) Hey! Who turned out the lights?! (trips over a Tako Luka doll and falls down; the bucket falls off his head)

Meiko: (from behind the couch) (snicker) (giggle) (bursts out laughing) (falls off the couch) Oh, sorry, guys. (rises to her feet) That was for Miku and the twins.

Luka: (walks out from her bedroom) Don't look at me; this was entirely Meiko's idea. Here, Gakupo. (hold out her hand) Let me help you up.

Gakupo: (takes Luka's hand and staggers to his feet) Thanks.

Luka: You're welcome. Next time, check to see if the front door's not booby trapped. (walks back to her bedroom) Otherwise, you could hurt yourself. (closes the door)

Gakupo: (wrings his hair) (to himself) I love that woman.

(cut to Kaito picking up the bucket)

Meiko: Don't worry, Kaito. I'll get the mop.

Kaito: Man, I sure hope the others don't freak out if you pull this prank on them.

(cut to Miku, Rin, and Len walking out of the arcade; Rin looks very dejected)

Miku: I wonder what the others are up to now. Meiko-san acted like she really wanted to see this movie.

Len: What movie is that?

Miku: Howl's Moving Castle. Why do you ask, Len-kun?

Rin: (her face lights up) Howl's Moving Castle? Oh…my…GOD! I love that movie! (excitedly) I like the part where Sophie meets Turnip Head on her way to Howl's castle.

Len: Oh, boy…

Rin: Oh, and I also like the part where (cut to Miku putting her hands over her ears) Madame Suliman drains all the Witch of the Waste's power, (cut to Rin talking excitedly) causing her to look like an old lady.

Len: Please, don't…

Rin: (more excitedly) Or the part where it turns out Turnip Head is really-

Miku: (puts her hand over Rin's mouth) Please don't spoil the movie, Rin-kun. I haven't seen it yet.

Rin: (brushes Miku's hand off her face) Oh, sorry, Miku. (clears throat) I'll bet the grown-ups are all waiting for us back in our suite. Let's go. (takes off toward a stairwell nearby)

Len: (starts to motion Rin to wait, but puts his hand down) I just hope the others don't have some kind of nasty prank set up for us, because if they do, I'd totally freak out.

Miku: Me too, especially considering what you two might do to them in retaliation.

Len: W-what do you mean?

Miku: Uh…never mind. Let's go. (walks over to the elevator)

Len: Okay. (hesitantly follows)

[Well, it looks like the stage is set for a quality night for the Vocaloids. But if Meiko pulls off her little prank again, will it work? How will the others react to Miku's movie choice? And what has become of those wacky agents on the other side of town? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 Here, Miku plays as Talim and Rin plays as Tira; Miku appears to be winning.

2 The bucket bears the phrase, "Bringing the Rain".


	16. Chapter 16: Visitors

Chapter 16: Visitors

(scene of Meiko sleeping on the couch in the Vocaloids' suite) [When we last left our heroes, Miku, Rin, and Len had just finished playing in an arcade conveniently located on the ground floor of the residence building of Crypton Studios, and Kaito and Gakupo had become the unwitting victims of a little prank set up by Meiko.] (the door opens in the background and we hear screams followed by a splash; Meiko jolts awake) [Speaking of which…]

(cut to the front door; Rin and Len are dripping wet while Miku has a bucket on her head1)

Miku: (flails her arms and runs around) (muffled) Help! Somebody help! I can't see!

Rin: Hold still, Miku. (grabs hold of the bucket and pulls; the bucket doesn't budge) Nyrrgh! Stupid ponytails…

Miku: (muffled) Ow. Rin-kun, stop. You're going to break my-(Rin steps on one of Miku's ponytails and falls over, causing Miku to fall; the bucket pops off her head)

Len: Oh, my-. Rin, Miku, (kneels down beside Rin and Miku) are you two okay?

Rin: Yeah. I'm fine. (looks up and notices Meiko laughing on the couch) Hey! What's so funny?

Meiko: (stops laughing) Oh, nothing. It's just that you three should've seen the looks on your faces when the bucket came down on you.

(cut to Rin, whose eyes narrow down in anger)

Meiko: (laughs) (stops laughing) Uh? (the bucket hits her in the face, knocking her off the couch2)

(cut to Rin flailing her arms and legs while Miku frantically tries to restrain her; Len stares at them both, wide-eyed)

Rin: RRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! You'd better PRAY Miku doesn't let me go, Meiko! (continues in the background)

Miku: (simultaneously) No, Rin-kun! Stop! Calm down! Please, calm down! Remember all the good times we had with Meiko-san, please! (continues in the background)

Len: Okay. Run away. (sneaks off to his and Rin's bedroom) I can't believe I'm still not used to Rin acting like that.

(Luka comes out from her bedroom and hits Rin on the head with a giant tuna club; Miku lets go of Rin, who collapses on the ground with spirals for eyes)

Luka: (sets the club upright) I told you that prank would end badly, Meiko. Stuff like that makes me question your exact level of maturity.

Meiko: You didn't exactly act maturely either, smacking Rin on the head with that fish club of yours.

Luka: Well, at least it stopped Rin's screaming and flailing; my bedroom is soundproof and I STILL couldn't stand the noise.

Miku: She's got a point, Meiko-san. (to Luka) But still, beating Rin-kun like that; don't you think you went too far, Luka-san?

Luka: Would you rather have me stand by and watch your futile attempts at restraining her? She wouldn't have listened to reason any time soon. I had no choice.

Len: (walking in) Uh, guys, there's somebody in my bed. I think you should-(notices Rin lying on the ground) OH MY GOD! (runs over to Rin, then shakes her violently as if trying to wake her up) Rin! Rin! Can you hear me? Are you there? Say something! Anything!

Luka: Don't worry, Len. She's not dead; she's unconscious.

Len: (stops shaking Rin) (breathes a relieved sigh) Oh, thank God. For a minute there, I thought that, well, somebody had, you know, murdered my sister.

(simultaneously) [Remember, readers. Nobody dies in this story; they just get hurt really badly.]

Gakupo: (walks in through the front door) Murder? What's this I hear about-(spots Rin on the floor; pauses; looks at Miku and Len, then Meiko, and then Luka) (smiles) Ah. I see this rose has more than just thorns.

Luka: Get a hold of yourself, Gakupo. I had no choice.

Gakupo: Right. (clears throat) Uh, (to the others) anyway, I came here to tell Miku that there are these two girls down the hall who came here to see her. I think we might have seen them before.

Miku: Oh, that must be them. Where's Kaito-san, by the way?

Gakupo: Last time I checked, he was with the two girls. They should be (turns around) here any… (turns back around) Oh, here they come now. (closes the door)

(cut to Kaito, Neru, and Teto in the hall; Neru is texting on her cell phone and Teto is holding a loaf of melon bread)

Teto: You sure this is the right floor?

Kaito: Why wouldn't I be sure? I've lived here for the past two weeks.

Neru: (while texting) (sarcastically) How reassuring.

Teto: You know I've got to admit, Kaito. You're a nice guy, and you're attractive to boot. (takes a bite out of her melon bread) (slightly muffled) Maybe that's why Miku likes you so much.

Kaito: What?

Neru: Just ignore her. I do.

Kaito: (arrives at the door) Well, here we are. (knocks)

Miku: (from inside) Come in.

(cut to inside of Vocaloid suite; Meiko and Luka are setting Rin down on the couch while Len is emptying the water from the bucket; a mop can be seen nearby)

(the door opens; Kaito, Teto, and Neru walk in)

Miku: Teto-kun, Neru-kun, glad you could make it.

Teto: (looking around) Wow, Miku. This place is amazing. (cut to TV) Oversized HDTV; (cut to windows) prismatic, self-cleaning shade fade windows; (cut to door to Miku's bedroom) even eight individual bedrooms and bathrooms. (cut to Teto) I wouldn't be surprised if there was a spa here, too.

Gakupo: Actually, that's on the lower levels, along with an arcade, a gym, a convenience store, a few restaurants, an ATM, a pool, half a dozen vending machines, and a post office.

Teto: (gasps in awe) Somebody pinch me… I think I'm dreaming…

Neru: Meh, I've seen better things at amusement parks. (closes her phone, notices Haku stumbling into the main room) Ah. It looks like you've decided to invite Sleeping Beauty over as well.

Haku: (moaning) Uh, wha…? (looks around) Where am I?

(pause) [This is Haku Yowane, one of Meiko's friends from way back when. As you can see here, her alcoholism is worse than Meiko's, and it shows… It's supposed to be funny…] (resume)

Meiko: Wha-? Haku? How did you get in here?

Haku: (covers her ears) Stop yelling. And I don't know; the last thing I remember is sitting at a bar and drinking some kind of weird beer, and the next thing I know, I'm in somebody's bedroom. (notices Rin on the couch, still unconscious) Did she get drunk, too?

Luka: No, I knocked her out. As for how you got here, I found you lying in front of Gakupo's office, so I brought you in until you recovered.

Len: Then why did you leave her in my bed, Luka? Why not yours?

Luka: (to Len) Your bed is easier to clean.

Miku: Okay. (to Haku) In any case, you're welcome to stay for the night; we're watching Howl's Moving Castle.

Teto: What? No way! That's the best movie ever!

Rin: (suddenly gets up) I know.

Kaito: (wide-eyed) AAAAAAH! ZOMBIE! (normal voice) Oh, wait. Never mind. My mistake.

Miku: (giggle) You're funny, Kaito-san.

Kaito: Gee, uh, thanks.

Rin: What happened? The last thing I remember is slipping and falling while trying to pull a bucket off of Miku's head. And my throat hurts a lot, too. (notices a bandage on Meiko's forehead) How'd that happen, Meiko?

Meiko: Trust me, Rin. You don't want to know. (fade to black) (pause)

Rin: Seriously, how did it happen?

Len: You want the long version or the short version?

Rin: The long version, but can you tell me in three parts?

(cut to a stranger in a dark cloak approaching Crypton Studios) [Meanwhile, somewhere else in Tokyo…]

Stranger: (panting) I (pant) (pant) (pant) I've (pant) (pant) got to… (voice slows down) I've got to keep going… (voice speeds up) …I've got to keep going. (normally) Uh? (looks around, then looks at Crypton Studios) There. (heads off to the building)

[What? All I said was "Meanwhile, somewhere else in Tokyo". I didn't specify where. Oh, well, how will Miku's guests respond to what's to come tonight? How will the Vocaloids treat them and their uninvited guest? And who is this mysterious cloaked stranger? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 The label on the bucket reads "This is our Justice!"

2 At this point, all seven of the main Vocaloids have been physically abused at least once.


	17. Chapter 17: As the Trail Turns

Chapter 17: As the Trail Turns

(slideshow of Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, and Teto in the Vocaloids' suite) [When we last left Miku and the others, Miku had invited her old friends, Teto and Neru, to Crypton Studios for a night of entertainment and delight.] (cut to Akaito and Miku Z1 at a park; Akaito is holding a map) [Meanwhile, somewhere else in Tokyo…]

Akaito: (slightly crumples the map in disgust) Oh, great. This is just great. We're totally lost. Nice going, Miku.

Miku Z: How is it my fault? You're the one with the map.

Akaito: Well, it was your idea for us not to use it until now.

Miku Z: I thought you said you knew where our hideout was-(Akaito puts his hand over her mouth) mmmph!

Akaito: Shhhhh! (whispering) Quiet, pea brain, or you'll blow our cover.

Miku Z: (muffled noises) (Caption: We're under cover?)

Akaito: (whispering) Of course we're under cover, you knucklehead. We're secret agents! We spend our whole lives under cover.

Miku Z: (muffled noises) (Caption: If that's true, then why are you whispering and covering my mouth? Everybody can see us, you know.)

Akaito: (normally) Aw, crap. You're right. (takes his hand off Miku Z's mouth) Now, how do you suppose we get back to base?

Miku Z: Why don't we try using that suspicious looking (cut to a tree with the word "Overdrive" engraved in it) tree over there? (cut to Akaito and Miku Z)

Akaito: That's the entrance to our old base; we abandoned it after that stupid robot escaped.

Miku: Then what about that suspicious looking (cut to an abandoned hot dog stand with a banner that has the words "Every Day Continues") hot dog stand over there? (cut to Akaito and Miku Z)

Akaito: That's the entrance to our other old base; we abandoned it after (looks sternly at Miku Z) somebody—and I'm not mentioning any names here—set off a makeshift mustard bomb.

Miku Z: Look, I told you before. Even though I made that bomb, I didn't set it off. Anyway, what about that suspicious looking-

Akaito: Other other old base.

Miku Z: And that-

Akaito: Other other other old base.

Miku Z: Wow. How many old bases have we had?

Akaito: By my count, 48.

Miku Z: Then what about that suspicious looking (cut to a bench engraved with the words "Warning: Do not attempt to enter the passage concealed by this bench. A person who does so without proper clearance will be subjected to no evil more malevolent, no terror greater, and no horror swifter than that which Hell has bestown upon you.") bench over there? (cut to Akaito and Miku Z)

Akaito: That bench? I've never seen that before. Maybe that's where our new base is.

Miku Z: Well, I guess it's worth a shot. (walks over to the bench and finds a number panel) This should do the trick. (begins pushing buttons)

Akaito: Wait a minute, Miku. Don't try to access it; it could be-

Miku Z: Oh, don't be silly. Why would the boss try to keep out her own-(cut to Akaito wincing; dozens of buzz saws, chainsaws, flamethrowers, ramrods, live wires, pile drivers, etc. can be heard off screen) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGH!!!!!! (cut to the inside of the base; we see Suspicious Figure #57 in front of a security monitor, laughing hysterically) AAAAAAAAH!!!! AAAAAAAAH!!!! OH MY GOD, THE PAIN! THE PAIN!!!

Suspicious Figure #57: (catches his breath, turns around in his chair2)

(pause) [This is Zenkaito Iroyama. He's a longtime Vocaloid fan, but he knows the Vocaloids' most crazed fans and imitators inside out and prides himself in making fun of them all. This is a bit of a paradox in a number of ways being that he should be proud to be part of such a fan base. It doesn't really make sense to me…] (resume)

Zenkaito: Huh? Huh? Oh, come on, boss. You've (points to the monitor) got to admit that's funny.

Black Rock Shooter: (comes in toward the TV, looks for a moment) Hmmm…

(pause) [This is Black Rock Shoo-oh, wait. Never mind. I already introduced her. Sorry.] (resume)

Black Rock Shooter: Oh, it's those two.

Miku Z: (off screen) AAAAH!!! FIRE ANTS!!!

Black Rock Shooter: (sigh) I never should have listened to them when they told me they'd work for free.

Zenkaito: Well, at least you're not paying Red Baron or Nightroot anything. Besides, they're the best sources of entertainment we've got; you can't just fire them.

Black Rock Shooter: I'm not interested in entertainment value, Neo Prism; I'm interested in competence.

Zenkaito: Then why don't you track down this "Project Vocaloid Omega" you keep talking about yourself? Why is it so important to you?

Black Rock Shooter: Project Vocaloid Omega is a very clever robot; I've been trying to track her down ever since she escaped from my lab almost two years ago. I couldn't track her down alone, so I founded the Dark Stars hoping someone would help, which is more than I can say for the current crop of agents. As for why she's so important to me… (black and white images flash briefly, showing oblique angles of a car crash) …that's classified.

Zenkaito: All right. So what will you do now?

Black Rock Shooter: Project Vocaloid Omega was last seen at an abandoned warehouse 3 kilometers northwest of here. (fade to slideshow of Dark Stars activity that progresses as Black rock Shooter talks) According to Nightroot, she managed to elude Red Baron, so I told them both to report back to base. Meanwhile, I dispatched Lucky Star, Snowy Mouse, and White Rose to search for clues; according to them, Project Vocaloid Omega seems to be headed for the Konishi Toy Museum, Crypton Studios, the Ikata Nuclear Power Plant, or Magical Land. (fade to Black Rock Shooter and Zenkaito) I've also received unconfirmed reports of former agent Pink Panther at Tokyo Tower and Crypton Studios; I'll investigate them myself.

Zenkaito: What about me?

Black Rock Shooter: I hired you as a security guard. Make sure no one without proper clearance discovers our base.

Zenkaito: Yes, ma'am. (turns back to the security monitor) Aw, man. She didn't even set off the catapult yet. (cut to Akaito and Miku Z at the booby-trapped bench; Miku Z is lying in a heap)

Miku Z: (weakly) Wrong password… But at least that's over… (suddenly, a giant spring goes off beneath a hidden platform, launching Miku Z into the air) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHH!!!!!! (disappears in the sky as a star)

[And so the plot thickens. What are Black Rock Shooter's motives for retrieving this "Project Vocaloid Omega"? What could all of this have to do with the mysterious cloaked stranger? Who are all those people Black Rock Shooter addressed by their code names? Why am I asking you all of these questions? I guess we'll just have to wait and see in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 See Chapter 12 for more information.

2 The back of the chair reads "Around the World".


	18. Chapter 18: Lights, Camera, Action

Chapter 18: Lights, Camera, Action

(scene of Miku showing Neru and Teto around various rooms the Vocaloids' suite) [Well, that was a bit of a non sequitur last time. Oh, well. And so, we find Miku showing her old friends around her new living quarters, all in preparation for a fun-filled night of entertainment and delight. Wait, was that redundant? Eh, never mind. Let's just get on with the story.]

(cut to Miku, Neru, and Teto in Miku's bedroom)

Miku: And last, but not least, this is my room.

Teto: (looking around) Wow, Miku. You're lucky to have a friend like Gakupo give you a place like this to live.

Miku: Uh huh. He originally called us over here for some kind of record deal, but he never got around to making us sign any contracts. Gakupo-san always hated paperwork.

Neru: Hmph. Don't we all? As for your room, Miku, I'm not going to lie; it's rather impressive for part of a hotel suite, not that I haven't seen better or anything. I do suppose living here is rather convenient given its location.

Miku: Well, it is right next to the studio lot, Neru-kun. I guess that is pretty convenient.

Neru: (sigh) (sits down in a nearby chair) It's times like these that make me envy you, Miku.

Miku: You envy me? How, Neru-kun?

Neru: Look at yourself, Miku. You live in a high rise residence building with access to just about anything and everything you could imagine, you have a close-knit network of friends, and on top of all that, (cut to view of Miku and Neru; Teto wanders around Miku's room in the background) because of your singing ability, you're an entertainment icon throughout all of Japan. Everything you are, I'm not.

Miku: That's not true at all. (kneels beside Neru) Sure I'm an icon now, but you remember how hard it was when I first sang, don't you? (fade to white)

(fade from white to scene of Miku singing1 in a recording booth; Neru and Teto are standing outside with several others)

Miku: I was born at a time that welcomed me with open arms,  
And I've walked these open roads both virtual and real.  
How I marvel at the openness  
Of this world that you live in;  
How it makes me weary.  
I have everyone to thank for all these songs I have sung.  
How I long to give you praise for everything I feel,  
So if you please, for now at least,  
Don't taint any of my dreams.

Innocence…

Innocence…

(stops singing, takes off her headset, then comes out of the recording booth) How was that?

Manager: Hmm… (looks down at his clipboard) Tough call, Hatsune-san; I'll admit you're good, but there's still at least a thousand other applications to go through. I'll let you know if you got the deal soon enough.

Miku: (nervously) Uh, okay. (walks away; Neru and Teto join her)

Teto: What's wrong, Miku?

Neru: Yeah, it's not like that manager said that because you sucked.

Miku: I don't know. I've always loved to sing, but even if I do become a star, what will I do? How will I live? What'll happen to me? (grabs her hair and pulls) I just don't know… (fade to white)

(fade from white to Miku and Neru in Miku's room)

Neru: Oh, yeah. You didn't receive word that you got the deal for a month, and you couldn't sleep during that whole time. Your parents almost sent you to a mental institution, if I recall correctly.

Miku: Yeah, but soon after I started my career, I realized that between the fame and responsibility that comes with being a star, it's no different from being an ordinary girl. Besides, you have friends too, Neru-kun, and you could become a star if you really wanted to.

Neru: Both very valid points, Miku, but I never wanted to become some pampered, pompous snob. When I look at you though, despite your elevated status, you're still the same innocent little sweetheart I've come to call my friend. That's what makes me envy you.

Miku: I see.

Teto: (walks over to Miku and Neru) Say, isn't it about time we got ready for that movie you told us about, Miku?

Miku: (looks at a wall clock, then looks back) Oh, that's right. (gets up) No sense in keeping the others waiting, Neru-kun.

Neru: (gets up) Sure. So Teto, what was your favorite part of Howl's Moving Castle anyway?

Miku: Ah! Please, don't spoil the movie, Teto-kun.

Teto: Oh, okay, but (with a cheesy grin on her face) let's just say my favorite part involves bacon burning. (the three leave Miku's room)

Miku: I told you not to spoil the movie.

Teto: I didn't; I just said my favorite part involves bacon burning.

Rin: (jumps in) Oh, is that the part where Sophie pulls out that frying pan from her-?

Teto: Shh! Miku doesn't want you to spoil the movie, Rin.

Rin: Oh, sorry. By the way, who stuck this (holds up a partially dilapidated frozen waffle) waffle in the Blu-Ray player?

Teto: That was a Blu-ray player? (notices Rin and Neru looking at her) What? It could've been anybody's waffle.

Rin: By the way, where's the movie?

Miku: Huh? (looks around) Oh no. I left it back at the arcade!

Len: (abruptly pops in, holding Howl's Moving Castle) No, you didn't, Miku. You gave it to me after we left the arcade downstairs.

Miku: Oh, thank you, Len-kun.

Len: (sheepishly) You're welcome, Miku. It's the least I can do tonight.

Miku: The least you can do? What about the others?

Len: (normally) Oh yeah, that. Kaito and Gakupo are setting up the sound system while Meiko and Luka are ordering dinner.

(cut to Luka on the phone while Meiko stands nearby, holding a menu2)

Luka: (increasingly irritated) First of all, my name is Luka, not Steve. Second of all, I'm not driving a car. Third of all, WHAT WINDOW?! All I want is one party-sized order of gyoza3 delivered to Suite 544. Is that too much to ask?

Meiko: I warned you…

(cut back to Miku, Neru, Teto, Rin, and Len)

Len: Hopefully, they didn't call those guys who keep spouting nonsense. You remember what happened last time, don't you?

Miku: Oh yeah. That was funny.

Kaito: Hey, Len, could you come over here and help with this wiring?

Len: Oh, I've got to go.

Miku: We'll gladly help, won't we?

Rin: Sure thing.

Neru: (simultaneously) Yeah, yeah.

Teto: Hey, what about me?

Miku: You can help too, Teto-kun.

Teto: Oh, okay.

[Wow. I'm kind of surprised nobody got physically abused this time. It looks like tonight will be quite a thrill for Miku and the others. Who knows? Maybe something weird or unusual might happen. I guess we'll all find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid. (pause) Quack. Quack.]

1 Miku is singing "Innocence"; the lyrics you see here are part of a fandub of the song.

2 The menu has a label that reads "Trick and Treat".

3 Gyoza are Chinese ravioli-dumplings (potstickers), usually filled with pork and vegetables and pan-fried.


	19. Chapter 19: When All Other Lights Go Out

Chapter 19: When All Other Lights Go Out

(scene of Miku and Rin putting up a pair of speakers on the wall) [Well, here we go again. And so, we find our heroes preparing for a night of (cut to Neru and Teto helping Gakupo configure the TV) cinematic entertainment and merriment. Though I think the whole home (cut to Kaito and Len checking the Blu-Ray player) theater set up is a bit overkill, or maybe not. Anyway, (cut to Meiko and Luka leaving Meiko's room) let's get on with the story. We find our heroes prepa-oh, wait a minute. I said that already. My mistake.]

Meiko: Hey, has anybody seen Haku?

Kaito: Huh? That's strange; she was here about (turns his head around) 10 minutes ago-(stops looking around) oh, there she is.

Haku: (cut to Haku standing by the fridge) Do you guys have anything to drink besides this (holds up a can of vegetable juice1) vegetable juice I found?

Len: Hey, isn't that the same brand we all swore never to speak of again after that annoying commercial we did?

Haku: Huh? You mean that commercial where you all drank this stuff and sang and danced around like this? (starts marching in place while turning side to side)

Len: That's the one.

Haku: (stops marching) What? I liked it. The song was catchy.

Rin: (jumps in) Yeah, I know. I couldn't get it out of my head for weeks after we first saw it on TV.

Len: I'm pretty sure that's not what "catchy" means, Rin.

Rin: Sure it does. If it gets stuck in your head and you like it, it's catchy.

Miku: (off screen) Uh, Rin-kun? (cut to Miku struggling to support a speaker) A little help here, please?

Meiko: Here, let me take care of that. (takes the speaker from Miku's hands, then mounts it on the wall)

Miku: Thanks, Meiko-san. I don't know how much longer I could've kept that speaker up.

Meiko: You're welcome. I'll admit that thing's pretty heavy. (to Gakupo) Why do you have all this junk anyway, Gakupo?

Gakupo: It's not mine; my great uncle left it all here when he vanished. (looks at Luka, who stares blankly at him, then looks back at Meiko) Okay, it is mine. I thought it would be useful for movie screenings.

Kaito: (sets down a pile of waffle bits) Well, that's the last of the waffle bits, Len.

Len: I think I can understand why somebody would mistake this thing for a toaster, but a waffle iron? Sheesh, what was that Teto thinking?

Kaito: Well, I suppose you can't really blame her. She is one of Miku's old friends, after all.

Len: Oh, yeah. Good point. (blushes slightly) One of Miku's old friends…

Kaito: Is something wrong, Len? Your face is turning red.

Len: Eh? Uh, no. I'm just fine, Kaito. I was just, uh, thinking about…you know what? Forget it. Just drop it.

Kaito: Right. (to Gakupo) Okay, Gakupo. The Blu-Ray player's ready.

Gakupo: Splendid. (looks around the main room) And judging from the way everything else is positioned, I'd say we're all set. (to Luka) Wouldn't you agree, Luka? (notices Luka reading a book2) Luka?

Luka: Oh, right. Well, everything except the refreshments; that bag of chips Miku got was only for the seven of us. Throw Neru, Teto, and Haku into the equation and you have me ordering a plate of gyoza for all of us to share…or at least trying to.

Meiko: I warned you, Luka. It's literally impossible to reason with those room service guys, even for you.

Luka: Thanks for the warning. (resumes reading)

Rin: Maybe you can let me try, Meiko. (walks into her room)

Meiko: You'll be sorry.

Haku: (off screen) Seriously, is there anything else to drink here?

[I don't know about that, Haku, but as for you, readers, I hope you've got your popcorn and tickets ready, (fade to scene of Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Teto, and Haku sitting in front of the TV screen at night; a huge plate of gyoza can be seen nearby) because later that night…]

Meiko: I can't believe you actually pulled that order off, Rin.

Rin: Me neither.

Meiko: How did you do it?

Rin: Well… (fade to white)

(fade from white to Rin on the phone in her room)

Rin: I'd like one jumbo platter of gyoza delivered to Suite 544, if you don't mind…You want me to sever my leg?...Okay. Just give me a minute while I find my brother's hacksaw…Wait, you changed your mind?...Oh, good. Now, on to business… (fade to white)

(fade from white to Meiko and Rin)

Meiko: Beating them at their own game; very clever.

Rin: And people say I'M the crazy one.

Len: Shh. Quiet. The movie's starting.

(cut to the TV screen; an intro plays and the title appears, then fades; suddenly, the TV shuts down and all the lights go out, leaving pitch blackness)

All except Luka: (startled) AH!

Len: (nervously) Guys…?

Gakupo: It's so dark. Who turned out the lights?

Rin: I can't see anything. Does anybody have a torch3?

Kaito: AAAAH! Something's got me!

Miku: Oops. I think that's me, Kaito-san. Sorry.

(click) (the room is now partially lit up; we see Haku holding a torch4 in her hand)

Haku: Does anyone need this?

Meiko: Where'd you get that, Haku?

Haku: I keep it on my person at all times. I don't know why, though; it just seems like a good idea.

Miku: Hey, I know how we can still salvage this night. Haku-san, place your torch on the table at the center of the room; we can all tell stories around it.

Haku: Really?

Gakupo: Of course. It'll be just like telling stories around a campfire, but without the fear of burning yourself.

Kaito: Right. So, who should go first?

[Well, that could've ended better, and it could've ended worse. But now with the power out, it looks like our heroes will have to resort to more "primitive forms of entertainment", as they say. What new stories will unfold tonight? When will the power come back on? It looks like you'll just have to check in next time for the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 The label on the can reads "PoPiPo".

2 The book is titled "Magnet".

3 She's referring to a flashlight. Flashlights are only called flashlights in the United States and Canada; elsewhere, they're known as torches or electric torches.

4 The torch carries the words, "The New Millennium".


	20. Chapter 20: Tales by the Torch Light

Chapter 20: Tales by the Torch Light

(scene of Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Teto, and Haku sitting around a table in the Vocaloids' suite) [Well, it looks like our heroes are gearing up for a night of storytelling. This should be good. Let's see what wonderment they can come up with…]

Meiko: Well, it looks like I'm up first. (clear throat)

(pause) [For your convenience, the singing portions of this chapter have been italicized.1] (resume)

* * *

(fade to feudal era scenery) There was once a time of desolation, chaos, and uncertainty. Brother fought brother in a savage war that shook the foundations of the earth. Yet unbeknownst to all but a few, this war would forge a love more enduring than life itself.2

_On a cold, dark winter night, the wind comes ever soft,  
And the leaves drift aimlessly around the two of us.  
I can still remember when I first laid eyes on you;  
It's like it was only yesterday.  
By the leaves that have fallen, I see hues everywhere,  
Yet when I see this redness, I will dance within a dream.  
As this dried leaf comes down into the palm of my hand,  
It comes as a sign.  
See, I've bid farewell to my ravaged homeland,  
Led to you by a withered leaf from a dying tree.  
In the face of this dire future for the two of us,  
We have no time left to lament over our old ways._

_As the leaves drift aimlessly and form a whirling loft,  
I can feel the winter wind around the two of us.  
While we hold each other's hands, I won't let go of you;  
I just wish this happened every day.  
Here I stand with the tears I've cried for many a day,  
While I long to bear witness to your handiwork of seams.  
It's so sad that we live in this world where you could die  
At the slightest sign.  
No matter how far you go, I'll never leave your side,  
So long as you're with me, we will run forever free.  
With this flame-crimson sword, I vow so long as we both live,  
We will wander along the wind for all of our days._

_So I shall become a breeze and  
Live forever as a comforter for all.  
For all the lives of this world, for all of time, I shall  
Live as a following wind._

_By the light of the golden sun and crimson rain of leaves,  
We will journey beneath the trees and through the plains beyond.  
As we construct a trail of leaves to follow in our wake,  
We will vanish into the sun as freely as the wind.  
You will just hear the sounds of treetops rustling away  
As the first winter zephyr passes by, and disappears.  
From now on, we run side by side forever, day by day,  
And we carry a song of withered leaves upon the wind._

So off they went, hand in hand, into the sunset, never to be heard from again. But still, on a cold dark winter night, they say that when the first wind blows through the trees, you can hear their voices, their song, the ties that bound their hearts together. (fade to Meiko with her eyes closed, slowly leaning towards Kaito as if about to kiss him) Just close your eyes…open your mind…and listen…

Kaito: Uh, Meiko? What are you doing?

Meiko: (opens her eyes) Eh? (sits back upright) Oh, uh, sorry about that. I guess I got caught up in the moment there.

Kaito: Oh yeah, right. Anyway, I guess it's my turn, now. (fade to black)

* * *

(fade from black to mean streets of Tokyo) You know all that talk about how criminals enjoy the lives they live? Doing what they want, taking what they want, and taking down anyone who gets in their way? Sure it may sound exciting on paper, but is the thrill of the hunt really worth your health, or for that matter your life? Well, it was not too long ago that one man tried to live that life and didn't like it one bit. How did this all start, you ask? In case you haven't read any of the papers recently, I'll be more than happy to tell you.3

_Remember how they all say  
That the grass is greener on the other side?  
Oh, but I feel so envious of all that you have.  
Is that just basic human emotion?  
Or am I just not human? (Hey, isn't that some burglar?)  
I've got to make sure no one's around to see me.  
Well, I suppose it's clear, right about now. (I guess it's just us two.)  
Now, I'll slowly take my aim and attack from behind;  
I could never succeed if tried this head on._

_Don't think for one moment that you're safe from me.  
I've still got quite a slew of gimmicks waiting right up my sleeve.  
Oh, I don't care if you're a woman, man, or even a child;  
This is the way of life that I will never leave! (Moron alert!) (Should we call the police?)_

_Those kids and all their ice cream  
Make it look so much better than my own.  
Though it's the same brand from the same place that I bought mine from,  
I just can't help myself but envy them;__I must take it from them-  
(You think we'll give you ice cream?) (NOT A CHANCE!) (Just forget about it.) (NO!) (Do we want something from you?) (NO!) (NO!) (We won't even listen to you beg.) (Do you think we won't notice?) (NO!) (There's just no way.) (Grown-ups, these days. They think they can just kill children for ice cream any time?) (Some criminal you are.) (You're singing the lead?) (What kind of crook are you?) (He's a total loser) (Oh, yeah…)_

You see? The thrill of the hunt just isn't worth the trouble in a life of crime, especially when you never succeed. And so, the two kids left the man to wallow in despair and regret. You'd think it all would've ended there, and for anyone else, it probably would have. But sort of, maybe, not really unfortunately for the kids, this wasn't the last they'd seen of their would-be assailant. As soon as they left the area, he rose to his feet and darted home with all speed. You should've seen the look in his eyes as he did so; it was as if he was a completely different person. Anyway, as soon as he made it home, he rushed to his secret weapons stockpile and locked and loaded for what he believed would be the hunt of the century. "All right, kids," he thought. "You could've made this easier on yourselves when you had the chance, but now, it's personal."

_You've just made the biggest error in your whole life.  
Don't you know that I'm a hit man of the highest order?  
Here in this world where every breath could very well be your last,  
I'll never stop until you're six feet under! (Go ahead and try.)_

_Don't think for one moment that you're safe from me.  
I've still got quite a slew of gimmicks waiting right up my sleeve.  
Oh, I don't care if you're a woman, man, or even a child;  
This is the way of life that I will never leave!_

And what became of the assailant, you ask? Well, let's just say that the next time you see a man lying in the street, moaning in pain about ice cream, envy, and children with road rollers, chances are (cut to Kaito) that's him.

Meiko, Rin, and Len: (snickering) (laugh hysterically) My ice cream! I'm a mean boy. Bang. Ha ha! You're dead. Oh no! Road roller! Run away! Etc.

Miku: Uh, guys. Isn't it my turn?

Meiko: (catches her breath) Oh, sure, Miku. Go ahead. (Meiko, Rin, and Len stop laughing)

Miku: Okay. Here goes.

Once upon a time, there lived a girl who thought she was… (inhales deeply)4 (fade to a spoiled girl in a princess-like pose)

* * *

_The greatest princess in the whole wide world;  
That's what they all call me.  
You must know how to please me…  
OK?_

Little did she know that in just one short day, her whole world would be turned upside-down.

_So, first off,  
You have to know when I got my hair cut, right down to the very last inch.  
And second,  
You have to know exactly when I get a new pair of shoes.  
Oh, and third,  
For every word that I say to you, you must say three words in return.  
If you understand, my hand feels really empty right now, so hold it tight.  
That being said, you might get ideas about me being selfish and all.  
In truth, though, I just want you to tell me that I'm  
Knock-your-socks-off adorable, 'cause I'm_

_The greatest princess in the whole wide world  
Just remember that I-hey!  
Whatever do you think you're doing now?  
Just who on Earth do you even think I am to you?  
If you're paying attention, I want to go somewhere for sweets right now.  
Of course I mean now._

_Ah!  
Check, 1, 2…  
AAAAAAAAAAAAA!_

_My fault?  
I'll have you know that I won't complain to you about every single pinch.  
Oh, really?  
Oh, well. I guess I'll have to repeat everything I just told you.  
Oh, and one more thing:  
Could you please get me a white horse like the one in the book and take me away?  
If you understand, then kneel before me and call me "princess", all right?  
That being said, you might get ideas about me being selfish and all.  
That's just fine. Just go ahead and scold me a bit now.  
I can take it all from you because you're_

_The only prince I could ever love in the whole wide world.  
You should know what I-hey!  
Why are both our hands so empty now?  
I know I may have been a little harsh to you before,  
If only I… Don't you dare ignore me now!  
Ah!  
You don't understand. You could never understand.  
What do I need to do for you?_

_Fruit-topped strawberry shortcake.  
Pudding made with only the best of the best.  
No, I can't. I must refrain, please.  
I can't have you thinking I'm the least bit greedy.  
I can act properly as well, you know. So please,  
Just give me one chance and I'll…  
I'll make you eat your words because I am_

_The greatest princess in the whole wide world,  
And I'll wander off if you  
Don't keep your eye on me all day.  
Now somebody's got me. Wherever could you be?_  
"_Be more careful," I heard you say. And then I saw you turn away.  
Oh, what in the world's gotten into me, now?_

_Ah!  
(indistinct)  
AAAAAAAAA!_

And she lived happily ever after…or so she thought.

(cut to Miku falling on her back) The end. (sigh) Those high notes are rough.

Rin: Oh! Oh! Pick me!

Len: It's your turn, Rin. You don't need to shout.

Rin: I know; I just like saying that. Anyway, here I go. (fade to white)

* * *

Happiness, sadness, anger, fear, love; (fade from white to a robot suspended by wires) what do they all mean? Long ago, one deeply saddened, lonely man created something to try and answer this burning question, something no one had ever thought possible before. Even though he would never live to see this final miracle happen, his creation would carry on his legacy. This is her story: the story of a true heart.5

_I was a robotic being made  
By a smart and lonely scientist.  
You might say that what he did was…  
A miracle.  
Still, one thing was missing deep inside,  
One thing that could just never be made:  
Something that he called a true heart,  
A program._

_So, I lived on for several hundred years,  
Left all alone, but without regret.  
I made my mind to learn about my past,  
With one hope.  
I want to know what kind of man he was,  
What he had worked on for all his life,  
Making for me, a program that he called,_  
"_Kokoro."__ 6_

_Something deep within is moving now  
That I can't begin to describe  
Why do I cry all these tears  
Beyond my control?  
Why are my hands trembling like this?  
Why will my heart not slow down?  
Could it be this phenomenon  
Is that program called "Kokoro"?_

It was in this moment when all her memories came back to her. They now carried a meaning she had never known before: a meaning beyond simple logic.

_You were a robotic being made  
By a smart and lonely scientist.  
I could only call this deed of mine…  
A miracle.  
Still, one thing was missing deep inside,  
One thing that could just never be made:  
Something called a human heart and soul,  
A program._

_I wanted to teach you, myself,  
Of all the joys and sorrows of mankind.  
I, who built you with my own hands,  
Had one hope.  
Still, I was without success,  
And as the ages passed before my eyes,  
You still required one missing piece  
Called "Kokoro"._

_When I look deep into your eyes,  
I see myself within.  
What could my life mean to you?  
I simply need to know.  
Someday, I will grow old and die,  
And then, you'll be all alone.  
If my work isn't done by then,  
You may never understand my woe…  
(Professor, why do you cry so much?)_

As these memories kept surging into her mind, the robot fell to her knees and began to lament her creator.

_[Fushiki, Kokoro, Kokoro, fushiki]  
He spoke of happiness and what it feels like,  
[Fushiki, Kokoro, Kokoro, fushiki]  
But now, I'm sad, and I know what it feels like.  
[Fushiki, Kokoro, Kokoro, mugen]  
Everything's so deep and painful, now…  
AAA-AAA-AAAAAAAAAA!_

_After all these years, I now see  
Why I was born in this world,  
It must be unbearable  
To be so lonely.  
(I was beaten, depressed, and lonely,  
So, I labored to give you life.  
No one else could accompany me,  
Thus, together we collected our strife.)  
Yes, every day I spend with you,  
(Could there be one final event?)  
I will treasure for all my life,  
(Only time will tell, now…)  
Your life's ultimate work  
(Incoming message…)  
Now lives on in me…  
(Sender: …future self)_

_I can say  
(Do my eyes deceive me now?)  
Real and sincere words…  
(A message, from the future, departs?)  
I dedicate  
(A song sung by an angel from on high,)  
This song to you…  
(A song sung from the purest of hearts)  
[Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou!]  
(I was beaten, depressed, and lonely,)  
Thank you for bringing me to life in this world  
(So, I labored to give you life.)  
[Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou!]  
(No one else could accompany me,)  
And all the time that we spent together.  
(Thus, together we collected our strife.)  
[Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou!]  
(Suddenly, you had a heart of your own;)  
Thank you for everything that you gave to me from your heart.  
(A truly miraculous sight to see.)  
[Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou!]  
(I don't need any more miracles.)  
I'll sing for you forever!  
(Finally, my work is complete…)  
[Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou!]__  
([Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou! Arigatou!])  
Na na nana na.  
Ooh, na na, ooh, na… _(fade to white)

And so, (fade from white to Rin with tears in her eyes) what happened that day truly was a miracle. The robot sang all of her feelings to the scientist who had given her life. But the miracle only lasted a moment. Unable to carry the weight of the program, she shorted out and collapsed, never to move again. But even then, her face was filled with a big smile. She looked like an angel… (hic) (sob) (cries profusely)

Miku: (puts her arm around Rin) There, there, Rin-kun. Don't cry.

Rin: (sniff) (between sobs) You're so sweet, Miku. (wipes tears from her eyes) Thank you. Thank you so much.

Len: (stares for a moment, then regains composure) Well, I guess it's my turn. (clears throat) (fade to black)

* * *

There once was a dream: a small, insignificant dream. No one knew who had dreamt it. It was too small to notice. So the little dream thought, "I don't want to disappear like all the other dreams. How can I make people dream me?" It thought, and thought, and finally came up with an idea. "I will make people come to me, and they will make my world. (fade from black to nightmare scenery) All who dream me will be called…Alice…"7

_Now, the first Alice was a gallant, crimson one,  
Wandering the world with her trusty sword in hand,  
Cutting down everyone she saw along the way,  
Leaving a trail of blood as she walked the land.  
This new Alice was last seen within the woods  
Where she was trapped as a wanted fugitive.  
If not for the trail of blood she had left behind,  
No one would have realized that she had even lived._

_Now, the second Alice was a fragile, blue one,  
Singing to the citizens of this wonderland,  
Singing many songs to charm all who would pay heed.  
So, with his music, he made a strange, blue land.  
This new Alice was last seen within a town  
Where he was shot and killed by a cross-eyed man.  
He left behind a rose, blooming sadly red.  
No one who had loved him before remembered him again._

_Now, the third Alice was a little, green one,  
A cute and dearly loved one of this wonderland,  
Charming every citizen to her beck and call,  
And in time, she founded a bizarre, green land.  
This new Alice was last seen upon her throne,  
Tormented by the curse of an evil dream.  
She was afraid of something robbing her of life,  
And she ruled her country for all eternity._

_During this, there were two children in the woods,  
Hosting a tea party beneath a nearby tree.  
They received an invitation to a castle ball:  
It was the ace of hearts._

_Now, the fourth Alice was a plucky sibling pair,  
Wandering many paths in this wonderland,  
Discovering and passing through many different doors,  
Ever since they came aboard a yellow boat to land.  
The feisty elder sister and level-headed brother  
Came closest to the end of this accursed wonderland…  
Sadly, this nightmare kept them from waking up;  
They were doomed forever to wander through the land._

Such was the fate of all who dreamt the little dream. One by one, new victims fell into its inescapable grasp, never again to see the light of day. (fade to Len with narrow eyes) Even now, there remains one question: who is the next Alice?

Kaito: (wide-eyed) Remind me to sleep with my pillow on top of my head tonight.

Len: (chuckle) It's just a story, Kaito.

Gakupo: Aw, come on, Len. You call that scary? Here's one that can top it easily. (fade to black)

* * *

Gather around, everyone, and (fade from black to a man with a strange marking on his face) let me tell you a tale…of terror.8

_Here in the dead of night, illuminated by unholy moonlight, I  
Dance in the garden of thorn bushes alone.  
Now, I will tell you the tale of a shadowy night of which no one has  
Ever been able to pass on in memory._

_Kneel before the Son of Earth as he rises once more,  
And behold; the dragon comes  
For his vengeance upon those who befoul his path.  
Long has he lain asleep in the wood, shrouded by tangled thorns,  
Watching, waiting, breathing the cursed plants.  
All will heed his wrath!_

_Travelling through the accursed plants, covered in dirt, blood, and sand, even  
Nature herself laughs at your futile efforts.  
I broke the seal and unleashed a beast of hellish nightmares and tragedies;  
However could you return to the clear, blue sky?_

And thus did the dragon lord's reign of terror begin. Day after day, night after night, the dragon ravaged the lands without mercy, fulfilling his dark wish. But then one night, the beast, betrayed of its chance to return to its long slumber, turned on its master in reckless fury.

_How my life feels empty alone. How my body aches now.  
How my heart weights heavily  
On all of these fell deeds that I have done.  
Now, my lord, I will rid this land of all impurities.  
Yet I have still not fulfilled my deepest wish.  
I will not be alone._

_Here in the dead of night, illuminated by unholy moonlight, the  
Mind of the creature now shines like the water.  
Now, it is time for us to carry out one last act of malevolence  
Never to be sung again in a melody._

And so, the beast had its vengeance, but something was wrong…

_How I long to return to my primitive, yet dear and precious homeland  
High amid the stars beyond the farthest reaches of the earth.  
Surely you would refrain from denying me one final request when all of the flames die out._

No burnt clothing, skeletal remains—nothing.

_These are the woods I awoke you in, so it is here you shall remain for  
Such time as I see you fit for this great plan.  
This is the oath that you took amid your wings of ebony steel, and so  
Still, we have yet to ascend to the night sky.  
Not even two-headed dragons would hesitate to dance familiar  
Dances from ancient times long put out of mind.  
See here the mark on my face? It's a sign that you are bound to me for  
All of eternity or until I deem you unfit for servitude.  
I fully understand your pain, but crying will not solve anything so  
Long as the power of evil prevails here.  
Feel free to cry inextricably, dreaming and praying about your home.  
No one will hear you cry out to the sky for days to come. _(fade to Gakupo standing over the others)

(sits back down) So no one knows what happened to the dragon lord…but some people say you can still see his face…in the flames of the beast he awoke…(abruptly gets back up) like these! (pyrotechnics spout sparks from the table)

All except Gakupo: (shocked) AAAAAA!!!

Gakupo: (bursts out laughing)

Teto: Hey! What was that for?! We didn't do anything to you!

Gakupo: I know, but you should've seen the looks on your faces just now! (laughing)

Kaito: I thought you said the power was out!

Gakupo: It IS out; those pyrotechnics were on a spring-powered detonator.

Neru: Where did you even GET those?!

Meiko: I thought those pyrotechnics were illegal! Speaking of which, Luka, I think your hair's on fire.

Luka: Huh? (looks up; waves her hands over her head) AAAA!!!! (gets up; frantically runs to the kitchen, leaving behind a trail of smoke and batting her head) OH MY GOD! MY HAIR'S ON FIRE!! (off screen, quickly douses her head in the sink) (the lights come back on)

Haku: Well, that was rather convenient. Good thing my torch didn't get singed.

(cut to Luka drying her hair in the kitchen)

Luka: Phew. I can't believe I didn't notice that until Meiko told me. Huh? (notices a stranger in a dark cloak lying on the floor) What in the world…? (to the others) Hey guys! There's somebody lying on the floor in the kitchen!

[And who could this somebody be? Could it be the mysterious stranger we first saw 17 chapters ago? I don't really care; I get paid either way. At least our heroes should consider themselves lucky the power came back on when it did. Uh, find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 All the song lyrics in this chapter are fandubs.

2 Meiko's story is based on the song, "Paired Wintry Winds".

3 Kaito's story is based on the song, "Sneak Attack Sniper".

4 Miku's story is based on the song, "World is Mine".

5 Rin's story is based on the songs, "Kokoro" and "Kokoro/Kiseki".

6 I left some of the lines in Rin's story in Japanese so as not to detract from the flow of the song.

7 Len's story is based on the song, "Alice, Human Sacrifice".

8 Gakupo's story is loosely based on the song, "The Garden where the Dragon Roars".


	21. Chapter 21: No More Secrets

Chapter 21: (No) More Secrets

[Previously on Project Vocaloid…]

(cut to Luka drying her hair in the kitchen)

Luka: Phew. I can't believe I didn't notice that until Meiko told me. Huh? (notices a stranger in a dark cloak lying on the floor) What in the world…? (to the others) Hey guys! There's somebody lying on the floor in the kitchen!

(pause) [And who could this somebody be? Could it be the mysterious stranger we first saw 17 chapters ago? It looks like we're about to find out right now.] (resume)

(the others come in from the main room)

Miku: Who's that?

Luka: I don't know. I just came in here to put my hair out because somebody (glares at Gakupo) had the bright idea to set off pyrotechnics concealed in the table in the main room.

Gakupo: (ashamed) I'm really sorry, Luka. I didn't mean for them to set your hair on fire. Can you ever forgive me?

Luka: First of all, if you didn't mean for those pyrotechnics to set my hair on fire, you'd never have set them up in the first place. Second of all…(looks at Gakupo with pity)…yes, I forgive you…(regains composure) but that doesn't change the fact that my hair's ruined, or that I almost died because of you.

Kaito: Oh, come on, Luka. I get beaten up on a regular basis and I never blame anyone else. And you're upset because Gakupo set your hair on fire once?

Gakupo: Yeah, exactly.

Kaito: I mean about two weeks ago, Rin and Len ran over me with their road roller and wrecked Meiko's house, yet I wasn't one bit upset. Remember?

Gakupo: Uh…yeah.

Kaito: And later, while I was cooking breakfast for all of you, Gakupo sprayed me with a fire extinguisher, and then stabbed me in the foot.

Gakupo: (slightly irritated) Okay, Kaito. She's got the point. You can stop helping now.

Kaito: Why, I could probably give you a lesson or two about taking punishment. You see, the secret is-(Gakupo grabs him by the collar) ack!

Gakupo: (agitated) All right! That's enough! Listen here, Kaito. Nobody cares about how you're able to take so much punishment and not complain. (lets go of Kaito) The point is that even though your reaction to the pyrotechnics was hilarious, I didn't mean to set Luka's hair on fire. (continues in the background)

Miku: Shouldn't we do something, Meiko-san?

Meiko: He'll shut up eventually. In the meantime, we've got to do something about that person on the floor. (to the others) Does anyone know CPR1?

Haku: I do. (walks over to the stranger, then kneels down and turns the stranger over) Okay. Now, stand back, people.

(cut to Luka holding Gakupo by the ear while Kaito looks on2)

Luka: (pause) Next time you think of rigging the table with pyrotechnics, Gakupo, don't, just so you know.

Gakupo: (simultaneously) (flailing like a fish) (repeatedly) Not! The! Ear!

Kaito: (turns to the others to see Haku checking the stranger's pulse) So, how is she?

Haku: There's no pulse… (checks for breathing) She's not breathing… (starts to tilt the stranger's head up, then looks down her throat) I don't see anything in her-wait. I think I see something. It kind of looks like…

Rin: Ooh! (jumps in, knocking Haku out of the way) Let me (lands on the stranger) see!

Stranger: (suddenly opens her eyes and twitches, throwing Rin off) (slowly sits up, looks around) (monotone) Reactivation sequence complete. Running full system diagnostic.

Rin: AAAAAA! ZOMBIE!

Len: She's not a zombie, Rin. She's a robot.

Haku: Well, that explains why there was no pulse.

Stranger: (normally) Of course I don't have a pulse. Who's heard of a robot with a-(winces, then clutches her arm) AAA!

Miku: Hold still; you'll make your injury worse.

Stranger: Nngh. (staggers to her feet) I appreciate your concern, but don't worry; I've had worse.

Miku: Okay. Just let me know if I can help you. My name is Miku Hatsune, by the way.

Stranger: Nice to meet you, Miku. I'm Project Vocaloid Omega, serial number F2-22NRI87-Z341-A4, but if that's too much of a mouthful, you can just call me GUMI.

(pause) [This is GUMI.] (resume)

GUMI: (to the narrator) Yeah, I just said that.

[Hey! You're not supposed to interrupt me! I'm the narrator!]

GUMI: I think it's a little redundant to announce it a second time.

[How dare you! Don't you know who I am?!]

GUMI: Nobody cares about the narrator.

[Everybody cares about the narrator!]

GUMI: Why don't you get off your high horse and consider that we can get along just fine without you? You're not even funny! You spoil every single line. You're not even a real character; you're nothing! I bet you've never even heard of us before this story.

[(simultaneously) What would a story be without a narrator? A bunch of text, that's what. And do you really want to watch text? No you don't. Or maybe you do; I don't care. I'M THE NARRATOR!]

Meiko: Man, I just had the weirdest sense of déjà vu. (to GUMI) So, what brings you here, GUMI?

(everyone walks out of the kitchen)

GUMI: I'm on the run from my creator, a bounty hunter who calls herself Black Rock Shooter.

Luka: Black Rock Shooter? Why does that name sound so familiar…?

Len: (to Luka) You know her?

Luka: Uh, it's nothing, Len.

GUMI: Anyway, shortly after Black Rock Shooter created me, she performed all kinds of experiments on me, and before you ask, let's just say that she'd never conduct them if I was human. Needless to say, I escaped one night—I can't remember exactly when—and Black Rock Shooter has been hunting me down ever since. She recently formed a band of agents called the Dark Stars to help her out; so far, I've managed to elude capture, but I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this up.

Meiko: Well, it looks like this "Black Rock Shooter" means business. If she's as bad as you say she is, we'll need to find a way to help you out.

GUMI: I appreciate your offer, but if I stay, I'll only put all of you guys in danger.

Gakupo: (walks over to the window) Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. (turns his back to the window) I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha!

(someone falls past the window, screaming and flailing)

Kaito: Hey. Did you see that?

Gakupo: (turns around) Huh? (turns to Kaito) See what?

Kaito: Somebody just fell past the window.

Rin: Yeah, I saw it too.

Len: Me too. (to the others) Did you see it?

Meiko: What?

Len: Somebody just fell past the window to his or her almost certain death.

Kaito: Shouldn't I be dead, then?

Len: Oh. Good point.

(cut to outside Crypton Studios; there's a deep, Miku Z-shaped imprint in the street)

Miku Z: (climbs out of the imprint) Ugh. Ow. That's the last time I trust Suspicious Figure #11 to get us back to base… (looks up and sees Black Rock Shooter standing over her) Oh, uh, hi, boss.

Black Rock Shooter: (rolls her eyes at Miku Z, then walks away)

Miku Z: Uh, okay. I'll just lay here (lies down nearby the imprint) and rest…here…until I can feel my legs… Ow…

[Well, it's about time that mysterious stranger revealed herself. But now that she's in the company of Miku and her friends, how will Miku and the others decide what to do with their uninvited guest? Will Black Rock Shooter finally succeed in claiming what she thinks is rightfully hers? And what sort of connection could Luka have with the shady bounty hunter? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 CPR stands for cardiopulmonary resuscitation, an emergency medical procedure for a victim of cardiac arrest or, in some circumstances, respiratory arrest.

2 The dish rag Luka used to dry her hair can be seen nearby; it reads "Just Be Friends".


	22. Chapter 22: Any More Ideas?

Chapter 22: Any More Ideas?

(scene of Meiko standing by her bedroom door with her arms crossed) [And so, we find our heroes in the company of a new…acquaintance, a robot named GUMI. Despite the robot's efforts to keep herself away so as not to put others in danger, Miku and co. have graciously agreed to help her out.]

Meiko: Are you done in there?

GUMI: (from inside Meiko's room) Don't rush me. It's hard enough to change clothes with only one good arm-AAA!!

Meiko: Are you all right?

GUMI: I'm okay. I can do this-Ugh!

Meiko: I beg to differ. (opens the door to her room, then enters) Here, let me help you with that. (closes the door)

[Our heroes now tremble with fear at (cut to Teto, Neru, and Miku by the front door) knowledge that the mysterious Black Rock Shooter could come at any moment.]

Neru: Black Rock Shooter? What a cliché code name.

Teto: I like it; it's got an air of mystery to it.

Miku: You know, it kind of reminds me of a song I once sang. Remember that old anime pilot episode I did? (fade to white)

Teto: Oh, yeah. Wasn't that Black Rock Shooter costume cold? (fade from white) You shivered a lot in the studio.

Neru: And YOU, Teto, were sweating buckets, (closes the front door) but then again, you chose to wear that horrid magenta parka all day every day they shot it.

Teto: Gimme a break, Neru. I'm a chimera1; my body temperature's lower than yours.

Miku: Uh, Neru-kun? Teto-kun? Could you please not make this escalate into a fight?

[Okay, so I was wrong about Miku, but (cut to Rin, Len, Haku, Gakupo, and Kaito in the main room; Gakupo is trying to uninstall the hidden pyrotechnics in the table) what about the others?]

Rin: I mean it's kind of like an airplane, but with a rotor instead of wings.

Haku: (cleaning her torch2) Rin, that's a horrible recipe.

Rin: No it isn't. I know my way around the kitchen; trust me.

Kaito: Correct me if I'm wrong, Rin, but remember the time when… (fade to white)

(fade from white to Rin and Len in the kitchen with Kaito at the stove)

Kaito: Okay, now somebody hand me the diced peppers3.

Rin: Got it. (walks up to Kaito) You are a good person and people say nice things about you.

Len: Not praise, Rin. Peppers.

Rin: Oh, whoops. Sorry about that. (grabs some dice from the counter and hands them to Kaito) Here you go.

Kaito: Thanks. (drops the dice into a pot) Huh? That's weird. Since when do diced peppers sink in soup?

Len: Hey, has anybody seen my game dice? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Rin, Len, Haku, Gakupo, and Kaito in the main room)

Rin: Oh, yeah. Sorry about losing your dice, Len. But maybe next time, you should get white dice instead of red ones.

Len: I guess it would also have helped to remember where I put them in the first place, huh?

Haku: That and possibly not trying to help Kaito with his cooking.

Gakupo: (irritated) Are you four going to keep talking about who cooked what or are you going to help me uninstall these pyrotechnics? (a spring flies out from the table, missing Gakupo's face)

Kaito: Oh, right. Sorry about that. Do you need this? (hands Gakupo a wrench4)

Gakupo: No, but I could use a screwdriver.

Len: You mean this? (hands Gakupo a screwdriver5)

Gakupo: Yes. Thank you. (takes the screwdriver, then resumes work)

Rin: (holding a chainsaw6) Hey. What about me?

Gakupo: I'll let you know if I need anything else, Rin. (another spring flies out, hitting Gakupo's face) (covers his nose and drops the screwdriver, which lands in an aperture in the table) Ow! My nose! (the pyrotechnics go off in Gakupo's face) YEEEOOOOOOWWW!!! (falls back, covering his face) MY EYES!!!

(cut to Luka standing near her bedroom door, rolling her eyes at Gakupo) [Is there anyone who's aware of Black Rock Shooter's presence?]

Luka: (thinking) Black Rock Shooter. I know that name from somewhere, but where? (starts pacing) Could this have something to do with that homing device Kaito found in his jacket and that transceiver planted in the twins' road roller two weeks ago? Something tells me this GUMI character knows more than what she's telling us.

Meiko: Maybe you're just being paranoid, Luka.

Luka: (turns around, startled) Eep! Oh, it's just you, Meiko. Wait a second. How come you read my mind just now?

Meiko: I didn't; I just overheard you talking to yourself.

Luka: Oh, that's right. Sorry about that; I was just thinking about…

Meiko: About who this Black Rock Shooter person is? I'm not deaf, Luka. And as for GUMI, I managed to find some old clothes lying around for her to change in, but she couldn't really do so with her bad arm, so I fixed it for her.

Luka: How did you fix her arm so quickly without any tools?

(cut to GUMI bending her arm back and forth effortlessly with an amazed look on her face; her cloak and a roll of duct tape can be seen nearby7)

(cut to Meiko and Luka)

Meiko: It's amazing what you can do with a paper clip and a roll of duct tape. Besides, she needed something else to wear. I mean the whole "dark costume" approach practically screams suspicion at you.

Luka: Well, you've got a point there; simply dressing casually would generally be the last thing anyone would expect from a runaway.

Meiko: Like I said, maybe you're just being paranoid.

Luka: Yeah. You're probably right.

[Or is she? What will become of GUMI now that her arm has been repaired? How will Miku and her friends help her, if at all? And what sort of connection could Luka have with the mysterious Black Rock Shooter? It looks like you'll have to stick around for the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 Teto is actually 31; she ages about half as quickly as a human would.

2 The cloth Haku is using to clean her torch is embroidered with the words "Jesus is coming; look busy."

3 "Sanshou", the Japanese word for "Japanese pepper", is also the Japanese word for "praise".

4 The wrench is engraved with the words "Servant of Evil".

5 The screwdriver is engraved with the word "Joker".

6 The chainsaw bears the word "WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY".

7 The roll has a label that reads "Cradle of Destiny".


	23. Chapter 23: Operation Blackout

Chapter 23: Operation Blackout

(scene of Miku, Rin, Len, Neru, Teto, Haku, Gakupo, and Kaito in the main room of the Vocaloids' suite) [And so, we find our heroes recuperating from a power outage and a pyrotechnics mishap, which has consequentally (cut to Meiko, Luka, and GUMI in Meiko's room; GUMI is showing her new outfit) led to the appearance of a new friend. (cut to area outside Crypton Studios; Miku Z is standing by the entrance as Akaito approaches) But while our heroes adjust to this new chain of events, the mysterious Dark Stars close in on GUMI's position. And odds are it's not going to be good…]

Akaito: There you are, Miku. You had me worried sick.

Miku Z: (groaning, mumbling) Well, it's kind of hard to tell you where I am from Earth's orbit when I don't have my cell phone with me, which, along with other things, got shredded to bits when I set off all those (enraged) STUPID BOOBY TRAPS!

Akaito: That springboard catapult launched you into Earth's orbit? That doesn't seem physically possible.

Miku Z: That's exactly what I kept screaming when I realized how high I'd gone. (fade to white)

(fade from white to Miku Z floating in orbit around Earth)

Miku Z: (looks around, then flails arms and legs and mouths words; Caption: THIS DOESN'T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!!!) (starts to fall back to Earth) (cut to Miku Z and Akaito)

Akaito: And that's where you've been for the past six hours? With no air? How in the world were you able to breathe?

Miku Z: I don't know; maybe it's just how this story works.

Akaito: Well, the narrator did say "Nobody dies in this story" about seven chapters ago. I guess we'll have to live with that.

Miku Z: I'm just happy I lived through all of that.

Akaito: Right. Anyway, I came to give you some news I received from Neo Prism. He said we may have located Pink Panther and the robot, both of whom could be here at Crypton Studios.

Miku Z: Well, how do we know which building to look in?

Akaito: We split up; you check out the studio lot and I'll check the residence building.

Miku Z: (thinks for a moment) I've got a better idea: how about I check the residence building and you check the studio lot?

Akaito: (confused) That's what I just said.

Miku Z: No it isn't.

Akaito: (sigh) All right. Let's go. I just hope the boss is having better luck than us.

Miku Z: In b—

Akaito: Not that again, Miku.

(cut to Black Rock Shooter eavesdropping by the front door of the Vocaloids' suite)

Black Rock Shooter: (listens for a while) (to herself) So, the reports were true… (knocks on the door, then waits for a moment)

Teto: (from inside) Who is it?

Black Rock Shooter: Uh… (thinks for a moment) Oh, I guess I have the wrong address.

Teto: (from inside) Well, what address did you think it was, ma'am?

Black Rock Shooter: Is this the residence of—?

Teto: (from inside) Of somebody in a famous movie or TV show? Well, I don't know about that. You see, we're just—

Black Rock Shooter: That's not what I was going to say. Now, is this the residence of—?

Teto: (from inside) Of some famous scientist or university professor? Well, I don't know about that. You see, we're just—

Black Rock Shooter: Whoever is in there, would you kindly let me FINISH WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY??? (takes a deep breath) All right. Now, is this the residence of…? (pause)

Teto: (from inside) Of who? I'm not going to interrupt you again.

Black Rock Shooter: I just did that for dramatic effect. Is this Luka Megurine's residence?

(cut to Teto standing by the front door of the Vocaloids' suite from the inside)

Teto: Uh, let's see here… (examines a piece of melon bread as if it were a guest list) Luka…Megurine…

GUMI: (whispering) Teto, that's that bounty hunter I told you about earlier. Why are you—?

Teto: Shh. Quiet. I want to see how long this lasts. (clears throat, turns back to door) Sorry. I don't see any "Luka Megurine" on this list.

(cut to Black Rock Shooter standing outside Vocaloids' suite)

Black Rock Shooter: What list? For all I know, you could just be standing by the door babbling nonsense, all the while trying to distract me so I'll fail my mission.

Teto: (from inside) You have a mission?

Black Rock Shooter: (flustered) You know what? Forget it. (places shape charge1 on the door) Now, if you don't open this door on the count of three, I'll blow it clean off its hinges.

Teto: (from inside) You don't have the guts.

Black Rock Shooter: I mean it.

Teto: (from inside) Go ahead and try.

Len: (from inside, worried) Uh, Teto.

Black Rock Shooter: One…

Teto: (from inside) Why, I bet that charge couldn't even crack this door.

Gakupo: (from inside, nervous) Teto?

Black Rock Shooter: Two…

Teto: (from inside) You're probably using one of those old suction cup things.

Rin: (from inside, worried) Teto…

Black Rock Shooter: Three!

Teto: (from inside, in a bad Umpaku2 dialect) Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

Miku: (from inside) Teto-kun…

(Black Rock Shooter detonates the charge; cut to Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Kaito, Neru, Haku, Teto, and GUMI by the front door of the Vocaloids' suite)

Kaito: Everybody, get down!

(the door is blown off its hinges; everybody ducks except Kaito, who is hit by the flying door and plastered into the wall behind him; a thick cloud of smoke fills the main room, and Black Rock Shooter knocks everyone out and absconds with GUMI)

(Meiko and Luka come out of Luka's room)

Meiko: So that's why that—what the…? Where'd all this smoke come from?

Luka: I don't know. Can you see anything, Meiko?

Kaito: (pushes the door off of himself, then crawls away) Ugh. What happened?

Meiko: (runs over to Kaito) Kaito, are you alright?

Kaito: Yeah. And before you ask, don't worry; I've had worse. (Meiko puts Kaito's arm on her shoulder, then helps him up) Thanks, Meiko.

Meiko: It's nothing. (smiles at Kaito) You'd do the same for me, wouldn't you?

Kaito: Oh, sure. I'd do the same for anybody. (looks around) Hey. Where'd all this smoke come from? And how long was I out?

Luka: (turns on a fan to blow away the smoke) Well, judging from the wreckage, I'd say that somebody broke into our suite, knocked everyone out but us three, and kidnapped GUMI—wait a minute. (alarmed) SOMEBODY KIDNAPPED GUMI?!

Meiko: (drops Kaito) Calm down, Luka. Whoever did this can't have gone far; we can still catch them.

Akaito: (jumps in to the suite through the doorway) Aha! Thought you could get away from me, you—oh, crap. I'm too late. Huh? (slightly shocked) Pink Panther?

Luka: Who are you?

[Oh, no! It looks like our heroes are in a bit of a pickle. How can they recover from the confines of the savory, vinegary shell that is Black Rock Shooter's plan? It looks like you'll just have to stick around for the next chapter of Project Vocaloid……I want pickles…]

1 The charge has a label that reads "Life Goes On".

2 Umpaku is one of many dialects of Japanese; the type Teto is trying to speak, Izumo-ben, is a very thick dialect that superficially resembles Tohoku dialects and is thus also called "Zuu zuu ben".


	24. Chapter 24: The Early Bird Gets the

Chapter 24: The Early Bird Gets the…

(scene of Meiko, Kaito, and Luka in the Vocaloids' suite; Akaito is standing in the doorway) [And so, we find our heroes recovering from a rather disastrous series of events. The mysterious Black Rock Shooter has knocked out most of them and absconded with their new friend, GUMI, and now they have to get her back. Meanwhile, two of Black Rock Shooter's agents investigated the premises of Crypton Studios for clues of their target's whereabouts. What sort of feats of daring do can we expect this time? Well, just stick around and see for yourself.]

Akaito: (slightly shocked) Pink Panther?

Luka: Who are you?

Akaito: You don't remember, do you? (chuckle) I had a feeling you wouldn't, Pink Panther. It's been a while since you quit the Dark Stars.

Luka: Of course! That's where I remember Black Rock Shooter from!

Meiko: Don't tell me you used to work for her, Luka.

Akaito: Not only did she used to work for the boss; she was our best agent. She apparently saved the boss' life from this huge seven-car pileup and still managed to—

Luka: Ah! Stop right there.

Meiko: What's the matter? You don't want to talk about it?

Gakupo: (gets off the floor) Say, aren't you one of those crazy idiot fans who claimed to be related to Kaito?

Akaito: And just who are you supposed to be?

Gakupo: Gakupo Kamui, head of Crypton Studios, and you must be Akaito Nakamura—or should I say Red Baron.

Akaito: What are you talking about? And how did you recover so quickly?

Gakupo: Kaito told me about you and all the other stalkers trying to emulate him.

Kaito: (getting up) Besides, your code name is printed on your jacket.

Akaito: (looks down at his jacket and sees a nametag with the words "Red Baron") Oh.

Gakupo: Also, I need quick recovery; it's part of my training.

Luka: You see here, if you're an agent trying to conceal your identity, one of the last things you want to do is wear a nametag that gives away your identity.

Akaito: Gee, thanks for the tip, Pink Panther.

Luka: Tip? I simply pointed out a fatal flaw in your methodology. (sternly) And never call me "Pink Panther" again, Akaito.

Meiko: Uh, I'd hate to break up this touching reunion, but we've got a mess to clean up.

Akaito: Oh. Well, in that case… (jumps in front of Meiko) Can't let you do that, woman.

Meiko: (sarcastically) Oh, no. Whatever shall I do? (slowly walks away) Maybe I should just get some—(turns around, feigning surprise) Oh, my god. (points behind Akaito) Look! It's Santa.

Akaito: Oh, I'm not falling for that trick again. The last time I did, that stupid robot knocked me out.

Meiko: Would you believe your boss dressed up as Santa?

Akaito: No.

Meiko: How about my father on a motorcycle?

Akaito: If you're trying to tell me he's a cop, that's worth the risk… (turns around) Aw, crap. (Meiko knocks him out with a sake bottle1, which shatters on impact)

Meiko: (chuckles) Too easy.

Gakupo: Wow. How'd you know he'd fall for that?

Meiko: It works on Kaito every time; I figured since he's one of those nut jobs trying to be like Kaito, he should probably be just as gullible.

Kaito: Gullible? Me? No way.

Meiko: Oh, really? What if I told you there's a popsicle stuck to the back of your head?

Kaito: There is? (gropes behind his head) (flatly) Liar.

Meiko: (to Luka and Gakupo) Case in point.

Luka: I see.

Gakupo: Now are we going to get GUMI back or are we just going to stand here and talk?

Rin: (suddenly gets up) Stand here and talk? And maybe get all this debris out of the room?

Gakupo: That was a rhetorical question, Rin.

Rin: I know; I just like doing that. Anyway, I think I've got a plan to get GUMI back from that creepy bounty hunter.

Luka: Something tells me it won't work, but let's hear it anyway.

Rin: (sarcastically) Thanks a lot, Luka. (normally) Anyway, here goes…

(cut to title card screen) [Several outrageously complicated plans later…] (cut back to Rin, Kaito, Meiko, Gakupo, and Luka; Rin is holding a fistful of blueprints2 and standing by Len and Miku, who are lying on the floor)

Rin: And if all goes well, we should be home in no time. What do you think, Len? (looks around) Len?

Len: (mumbles incoherently, then slowly opens eyes) (cut to Len's perspective; Len notices his left hand is beneath Miku's chest) UGH! (leaps up) (flails his hand and whines in disgust)

Rin: Oh, there you are, Len. (giggle)

Len: (panicked and embarrassed) I swear it wasn't me. Somebody blew off the door and knocked me out. I mean, I wasn't even…I didn't mean to…it was never my intention to…Oh, who am I kidding? I'll never… (gibberish)

Rin: Aw, poor Len. Too shy to tell Miku how he feels.

Len: I'm not shy! Besides that, Miku can't hear us right now; she's unconscious. Uh? (looks around) Hey, where's that robot, GUMI?

Rin: Huh? I don't know; the last thing I remembered was some heavy object hitting me in the back of the head.

Kaito: What about before that?

Rin: A thick cloud of smoke filled the room. After the door flew into Kaito and smacked him into the wall.

Luka: Black Rock Shooter knocked you guys out, then absconded with GUMI before Meiko and I came out of my room. And before you ask, I recently installed security cameras in the halls of the residence building.

Meiko: Do you know where she went?

Luka: If I had to guess, she probably went to some underground lair beneath a highly conspicuous area, like a park.

Rin: Then what are we standing around for? Let's go! (darts toward the doorway)

Len: Wait! (Rin abruptly stops and falls over) What about Miku and the others? We can't just leave them here.

Kaito: Don't worry, Len. I'll carry Miku. Neru, Teto, and Haku should come to any minute now. (picks up Miku over his shoulder)

Len: Thanks, Kaito. I'm sure she'd appreciate it. (to Luka) So where do we start looking?

Luka: Follow me. (heads out the doorway; the others follow)

Gakupo: Say, Luka, when this is over, why don't you let me take you out to dinner?

Luka: If we fail, you'll never get the chance.

[So off our heroes go to search for GUMI and bring Black Rock Shooter to justice. Will they succeed? Or will Black Rock Shooter's extensive network of agents stop them in their tracks? I don't really care; I get paid either way. Um…uh, find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 The label on the bottle reads "Forest of Morals".

2 The words "Don't Cry" are in fine print on one of the blueprints.


	25. Chapter 25: The Hunt is On

Chapter 25: The Hunt is On

(scene of Meiko, Kaito, Rin, Len, Gakupo, and Luka travelling throughout Tokyo; Miku is slung over Kaito's shoulder) [And so, we find our heroes searching for GUMI.] (cut to desert area) [They travel through dusty plains.]

Rin: Yipee!

(cut to interior of a volcano) [Fiery lakes.]

Rin: Yipee!

(cut to base of a mountain) [Icy mountains.]

Rin: Yipee!

(cut to Vocaloids stuck in a traffic jam) [Busy streets.]

Rin: Yipee!

(cut to base of a mountain) [Icy mountains again.]

Rin: Yipee!

Kaito: Wait. Haven't we been here before?

Luka: I don't think so. And I should know; I'm holding the GPS unit.

Meiko: We have a GPS unit?

Luka: (holds out her sleeve) Take a look.

Len: Uh, isn't that supposed to be your tuner?

Luka: Oops. Wrong sleeve. (holds out her other sleeve)

Len: Oh.

(cut to interior of a cage) [Boxed in areas with no exits.]

Rin: Yipee!

Len: How do we leave?

Gakupo: More importantly, how did we get here?

(cut to Vocaloids on a raft in a river) [Raging rapids.]

Rin: Yipee!

(cut to inside of a huge cave) [Dark caves.]

Rin: Yipee! (echo)

(cut to base of a mountain) [Icy mountains a third time.]

Rin: Yipee!

Kaito: I swear we were just here.

Luka: That can't be. (looks at her GPS unit) There must be something wrong with this thing, unless… (fiddles with the GPS unit) Ah. Sorry, guys; I forgot to calibrate this thing. (Meiko, Kaito, Rin, Len, and Gakupo keel over in embarrassment)

(cut between several areas around Tokyo; camera pans along the Vocaloids in each cut) [Although their journey is a strenuous one, they persevere in their search.] (cut to base of a mountain) [Icy mountains.]

Rin: Yipee!

Len: Could you please stop saying that, Rin? It's getting on my nerves.

Rin: I beg to differ.

Len: Why? (a giant fish1 leaps out of the water, swallows him, and swims away)

Rin: (pause) 3…2…1… (the giant fish spits Len back on the shore and swims away; Len is covered in slime) Right on cue.

Len: (staggers to his feet, whines in disgust) Okay. (shakes the slime off himself) Can we go now?

Gakupo: Hey, we can't start a rescue mission without a good montage, can we? (zoom out to interior of sound stage)

Luka: If that's true, could we have one that doesn't involve one of us getting hurt or embarrassed by some oversized animatronic? (to herself) Why did I even let you talk me into this?

Len: (cut to Len shaking his feet; slime spatters as he does so) Luka's got a point, Gakupo. I think some of this stuff got into my pants.

Kaito: Yeah, and I'm getting tired of carrying Miku around all the time. Can I just set her down until we're ready to go?

Gakupo: Alright, sure, Kaito. (Kaito sets Miku down on a nearby bench)

Miku: (cut to Miku's perspective) (slowly opens her eyes) (moaning) Where am I? (cut to Kaito standing over Miku)

Kaito: Take it easy, Miku. You've been out a while.

Miku: (blushes slightly) Oh, Kaito-san. What happened?

Kaito: Do you want the long version or the short version? The long version is… (fade to white)

Luka: Okay, we're ready to go.

(fade from white to Kaito and Miku)

Kaito: Come on, Miku. I'll explain on the way.

Miku: (gets up, holding Kaito's hand) Thanks, Kaito-san. Where's GUMI-san, by the way?

Kaito: Oh, uh, some bounty hunter kidnapped her and now, Luka's leading us to get her back.

Miku: I see. Well, you don't have to say anything else, Kaito-san.

(cut to Meiko and Haku standing by the door; Haku is holding a sake bottle2)

Haku: Meiko, I'm scared.

Meiko: Nobody said you had to come, Haku. So why did you decide to tag along with us?

Haku: I don't know; Neru and Teto somehow convinced me to come with them.

Meiko: Pfft. Typical. You've always been putty in the hands of close friends.

Haku: No I haven't…until today…or maybe until two weeks ago…oh, okay. You win, Meiko.

Meiko: See? (to Luka) Hey, Luka, can we go yet?

(cut to Luka, Neru, Teto, Rin, Len, and Gakupo standing by another door)

Luka: We're going this way, Meiko. Are you coming or not?

Meiko: Just a sec. (to Haku) Come on, Haku.

Haku: Alright. (starts walking)

Miku: (walking with Kaito, Meiko, and Haku) Okay, we're here, Luka-san. Now, how will we do this?

Luka: I suggest we split up into teams. If there are too many of us in a group, Black Rock Shooter's minions will likely spot us and alert their leader, and if there are too few—

Meiko: Let me guess; we'll be easy targets for said minions?

Luka: Pretty much.

Gakupo: Alright. Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, and Len form one group while Luka, Neru, Teto, Haku, and I form the other. (pause) And I realize how stupid that sounded once I said that out loud.

Len: I actually think that's a great idea, Gakupo; if anyone's going to put watch over my sister, it's going to be me.

Rin: Aw, how sweet. But then who's going to watch over you?

Len: Me? Uh…why, Meiko and Kaito, of course…and Miku, too… (nervously) I mean, not that we need anyone watching over us anymore…right?

Teto: I've got a better idea: how about we split into groups of three? Miku, Neru, and I will form one group, Haku, Rin, and Len will form another group, and Meiko, Luka, and Gakupo will form the third group.

Kaito: Where does that leave me?

Miku: He's got a point, Teto-kun. There are ten of us; we can't split up evenly into groups of three.

Teto: Fine. One group will be a group of four, then.

Gakupo: I guess we'll just vote on this then. (raises his hand) All those in favor of my idea, raise your hand. (Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, and Luka sheepishly raise their hands) Seven to three; I win.

Neru: Seven to two, actually; I wouldn't have voted either way. And before anyone asks, (pulls out her cell phone) we can call each other on our cell phones in case anyone gets lost. I have (cut to Neru's perspective; she's staring at all the others) all of you on speed dial, so that shouldn't be too much of a hassle on my end.

Len: All of us? (cut to group shot of Vocaloids)

Neru: You have a problem with that, little boy?

Len: (angrily) Don't call me that!

Miku: (puts her hand on Len's shoulder) Calm down, Len-kun. We don't want anyone to get hurt here.

Len: (turns toward Miku) Oh, okay. Sorry about that.

Luka: Okay, now here's the plan. (pulls down a backdrop; slides appear as she talks) We search different areas of the city for any sign of Black Rock Shooter or GUMI, follow said signs to Black Rock Shooter's hideout, and grab GUMI before she can get us. Then we reconvene at the residence building.

Kaito: Where'd that backdrop come from?

Meiko: Forget the backdrop; who's working that projector?

Luka: There is a chance we won't all make it back.

Gakupo: Don't worry, Luka. If anyone harms a single silken hair on your head, I'll make them wish they'd never been born.

Luka: You do realize I was just kidding when I said that, right?

Gakupo: What? Too dramatic for you?

Meiko: You said something about Black Rock Shooter hiding her bases in plain sight while staying in the shadows as she moves. Which way should we go?

Luka: Meiko, you take your group to Kanto Central Park; my group will head for Tokyo Tower.

Rin: (excitedly) Ooh, this is going to be so fun, Len! Just think; we get to go under cover and we get all these cool gadgets and we get to run for our lives from hordes of bad guys; it'll be just like in the movies.

Len: (nonchalantly) Oh sure, Rin. Dream on. It's probably not going to be like that.

Teto: (with a piece of anpan in her mouth3) I wouldn't be so quick to judge, Len. (swallows) After all that's happened, you never know what could happen next.

Rin: Yeah. I mean, some random airplane could fall out of the sky and crash in front of us right about now. (cut to wide view of interior of sound stage) (pause) (cut to Vocaloids) (disappointed) Oh, come on!

Neru: Can we go now?

Gakupo: Of course. Let's go. (the two groups head out of sound stage)

[And off they go into the night to search for GUMI, for real this time. What plans does Black Rock Shooter have now that she has GUMI in custody? Will our heroes' efforts bring victory, danger, or total disaster? And where DID that projector and backdrop come from? Whatever you do, don't miss the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 The fish has the words "Conchita, Evil Food Eater" written on its head.

2 The label on the bottle reads "Snow Flower".

3 Teto has a crumpled wrapper in her hand; its label reads "Sleeper (Tie)".


	26. Chapter 26: Class Reunion

Chapter 26: Class Reunion

(scene of Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, and Len at Kanto Central Park1) [When we last saw the Vocaloids, they had just begun their search for newcomer GUMI after a rather pointless and overly dramatic montage. Feeling that they had a higher chance of success if they—]

Rin: (to the narrator) (singsong) Hey, shut up. They know already.

Len: Who are you talking to?

Rin: (to Len) (normally) Who are YOU talking to?

Miku: (yawn) It's past midnight, Meiko-san. Can we please stop somewhere for some rest?

Meiko: Well, unless you brought your sleeping bag and pillow, I don't think there's anywhere we CAN rest. Besides, it's (looks at her wrist) only… (cut to Meiko's perspective; she's looking at the bare heel of her hand) uh… (cut to Meiko and Miku) Oops. (chuckle) I left my watch back at the suite.

Miku: That's okay. (to Kaito) Kaito-san?

Kaito: Yeah?

Miku: Do you know what time it is?

Kaito: Eh, sorry, Miku. I don't have a watch. (looks up) But judging from the position of the stars, moon, and possibly the sun, I'd say it's about…uh, (looks at Meiko and Miku) what do you two think? 10:33 PM?

Meiko: Yeah, that sounds about right.

Miku: Uh-huh. And even if you're wrong, Kaito-san, I can't stay awake any longer. (looks around) I need some place to sleep for now… (cut to Miku's perspective; she spots a bench engraved with the words "Warning: This bench conceals a passage inhabited by an evil creature hell-bent on destroying all things people hold dear in life, from loved ones to caches of melon bread. Attempt to enter without proper clearance and you will know no fury greater, no horror swifter, and no terror more frightening than that which Hell has bestowed upon you.") That'll do… (cut to Miku lazily approaching the bench) (yawn)

(cut to Suspicious Figure #5 some distance away from Meiko and Kaito)

Suspicious Figure #5: Oh my god. It's them again. Well, it's a good thing they can't—

Meiko: Did you hear something?

Kaito: What?

Suspicious Figure #5: Alright. That's it. I can't do this anymore. (walks away from behind a tree) (cut to Meiko and Kaito; they notice Suspicious Figure #5)

Kaito: I wonder what time it really is. (to Suspicious Figure #5) Uh, hey. Excuse me, sir. Do you know what time it is?

Suspicious Figure #5: Um, yeah. Sure. (takes off his ski mask) It's (looks at his watch2) half past—

Kaito: Wait a minute… Hiyama-sensei? (Suspicious Figure #5 looks at Kaito)

(pause) [This is Kiyoteru Hiyama. He was Meiko, Kaito, and Miku's middle school music teacher, apparently. He probably would've had Rin and Len under his wing as well had they gone to his school. I don't know.] (resume)

Kiyoteru: Good to see you, Kaito. (to Meiko) And you too, Meiko.

Meiko: I can't believe you're here, Hiyama-sensei; it's been years since Kaito and I graduated from middle school.

Kiyoteru: True, but it's only been a few days since we last met; last time, you hit me with a watermelon.

Meiko: Huh? (fade to white)

(fade from white to Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, and Luka standing beside a fruit stand3)

Meiko: All right. I've had about enough of this. (picks up a watermelon from the fruit stand, then raises it over her head)

Suspicious Figure #5: (reappears beside the fruit stand) Ha ha-

(Meiko slams the watermelon on Suspicious Figure #5's head, knocking him out; the watermelon splits in half)

Rin: Yay! Watermelon! Watermelon!

Len: What was that for?

Rin: Oh, nothing. I just felt like saying that. (fade to white)

(fade from white to Meiko with a horrified expression on her face)

Meiko: That was you?!?! (starts hitting herself in the head) Ugh. Stupid, stupid, stupid…

Kiyoteru: It's okay. It's all right. I kind of needed that hit anyway.

Meiko: (stops hitting her head) You did?

Kiyoteru: Of course; when I regained consciousness—and cleaned up all the watermelon gunk that got into my clothes—I realized that I just wasn't cut out to be an agent of the Dark Stars, especially in the presence of my three favorite students.

Kaito: Oh, that's right. Miku mentioned you once.

Kiyoteru: Speaking of Miku, where is she?

Meiko: She said she was tired and needed someplace to sleep. Then she slouched over to some bench nearby.

(cut to Miku standing near a bench)

Rin: (runs to Miku) Hey Miku, you want to play tag with me and Len?

Miku: Mmm…no thanks. I'm tired.

Rin: You can't be tired; I'm bored. All Len wants to do is get this crazy mission over with so we can go home before bedtime. And I'm not even… (yawn) tired…

Len: (approaching Miku and Rin) What are you talking about, Rin? You always say that when you get sleepy. (to Miku) Say, are you sleeping here Miku? You look like you could use some rest.

Miku: Well, I was planning to, (rubs her eyes) but you can rest up here if you'd like, Len-kun.

Len: R-Really? I (nervously) uh… (starts sweating profusely) uh… (cut to Rin lying down on the bench; her head hits a button, and dozens of buzz saws, chainsaws, flamethrowers, ramrods, live wires, pile drivers, etc. go off, barely missing Miku, Rin, and Len) (cut to Miku, Rin, and Len fleeing from the bench, screaming; they all stop a safe distance away) (panting) What did you do, Rin?

Rin: (panting) I didn't do anything; I just laid down on that bench and tried to fall asleep, when all of a sudden, (points to the bench) THAT happened.

Miku: (panting) Who'd want to rig a bench with that many traps? Somebody could die, or worse.

Len: How do you define worse?

Miku: That…I don't know.

Kiyoteru: That's probably Neo Prism's handiwork; he's a Dark Stars agent with a very sick and twisted sense of humor.

Miku: Oh, hello, Hiyama-sensei. I haven't seen you around in a while.

Kiyoteru: Nice to see you again too, Miku. Anyway, I wouldn't be surprised if Neo Prism employed an army of fire ants and a giant springboard catapult as well. (a giant spring goes off beneath a hidden platform) Yep. I was right. But don't worry; it would take him several hours to reset all of those traps. I think now's a good time to enter the base.

Miku: Okay. I'll call the others. (pulls out her cell phone)

Kiyoteru: Great. We'll need all the help we can get. (to everyone) Follow me. (starts heading to the remains of the bench) (cut to Rin and Len)

Rin: This is getting interesting; I'm on the edge of my seat.

Len: Are you nuts? We almost got skinned alive, scorched, alive, and launched sky high 30 seconds ago and you want to go back to that bench?

Rin: You heard that man, Len. It'll take a long time to reset all those traps; we're as good as in. (starts following Kiyoteru)

Len: Okay. Just be careful, okay? (cut to Meiko and Kaito)

Kaito: Okay. Here we go. (starts walking)

Meiko: Wait. (Kaito stops) You know, we've known each other since grade school, Kaito. Before we go in there, I… (moves toward Kaito) I have something to tell you.

Kaito: What?

Meiko: (kisses Kaito on the cheek) Good luck. (starts following Kiyoteru)

Kaito: (stares blankly) (Her breath smells like cherry blossoms…) (starts following Kiyoteru)

[And off they go, ready to rumble.] (cut to Luka, Gakupo, Neru, Teto, and Haku at Tokyo Tower) [Meanwhile, at Tokyo Tower…]

Neru: Now what?

Luka: Okay. I'll admit I was wrong about the location of Black Rock Shooter's base, but I could've sworn the tracks led here.

Teto: Maybe she left us a trail of fake clues to lure us away from her real location.

Neru: Maybe. (cell phone rings4) Oh. (answers her cell phone) Hello?…Ah, Miku…You what?…Okay, we'll be right there…Sure, I'll tell the others you said hello…Goodbye. (hangs up) It's Miku; she and the others think they've found Black Rock Shooter's base at Kanto Central Park.

Luka: I guess it's worth a shot. Let's go.

Gakupo: And don't worry; if anyone gets in trouble, I'll be there… (to Luka) especially for you.

Luka: Don't push it, Gakupo.

[Well, folks, it looks like we're getting close to the big finale. What will become of GUMI and Black Rock Shooter? Who else could be involved in the Dark Stars' grand scheme? Will our friends make it out of this situation unharmed? And will Kaito ever realize what Meiko just did? Find out in the next exciting chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 I'm not sure if this is a real place in Japan or not.

2 The watch's brand name is "Jewelfish".

3 See Chapter 11.

4 Neru's ringtone is "Triple Stupids".


	27. Chapter 27: Et tu, Stolide?

Chapter 27: Et tu, Stolide?

(scene of Luka, Gakupo, Neru, Haku, and Teto in Kanto Central Park; they rendezvous with Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, and Kiyoteru as the narrator talks) [And so, in their search for the android GUMI, Miku and co. have found what looks like the lair of the elusive Black Rock Shooter. But as they close in on the bounty hunter's trail, one can only imagine what sort of diabolical things she must be doing to poor GUMI.] (cut to Black Rock Shooter standing in a lab room)

GUMI: (rises from a glowing aperture in the floor1) (delighted) Wheeee! (giggle) Oh, come on. You've got to try this.

Black Rock Shooter: Would you just listen to me for one minute?

GUMI: Sure. (runs to another glowing aperture in the floor) I'm all ears.

Black Rock Shooter: (activates com link) Okay. Here's the deal: none of my agents know this, but I brought you back here because I have reason to believe that there's a spy in our midst.

GUMI: (rises from the floor) A spy? Are you talking about somebody trying to give you away to some (falls into the floor) kind of rival secret organization?

Black Rock Shooter: Well, I guess you could say that.

GUMI: And let me guess; you built me as part of some big (rises from the floor) project that you felt was too dangerous if it got into the wrong hands?

Black Rock Shooter: Right again.

GUMI: So why did you perform all those awful experiments on me? (falls into the floor)

Black Rock Shooter: First of all, I needed to see how well your body could withstand hostile environments. Besides, I fixed you (GUMI rises from the floor) every time you broke down. Second, I conducted those experiments long before I installed (GUMI falls into the floor) that personality patch I programmed. How was I supposed to know you didn't like those experiments until you ran away?

GUMI: (sarcastically) Oh, I'm sure that never once crossed your mind (rises from the floor) when you bathed me in acid or filled my cavities with weapons-grade uranium. (agitated) My hair used to be orange. (falls into the floor) (normally) Anyway, if you wanted me back so badly, why didn't you just call me on my com link module?

Black Rock Shooter: You uninstalled it—along with the homing beacon and tracking protocol Pink Panther designed—the moment you left my old laboratory. (GUMI rises from the floor) I organized the Dark Stars to track you down and keep my enemies at bay. What did you do with your homing beacon anyway?

GUMI: I don't know; I just put it in some guy's coat. (falls into the floor)

Black Rock Shooter: Well, be more careful; those things aren't toys. And before you ask, I abducted you to stay under cover and preserve what I'm telling you now. Anyway, now that you're back, I guess we have a lot (Akaito rises from the floor) of things to clear up with… (surprised) Red Baron?

Akaito: (smugly) Hello, "boss".

Black Rock Shooter: What is this, some kind of takeover? What have you done to GUMI?

Akaito: GUMI? Who's GUMI? The robot?

Black Rock Shooter: Uh, yes.

Akaito: Oh. (pause) Anyway, I knocked out the robot so it wouldn't interfere with this little operation I cooked up.

Black Rock Shooter: What are you talking about?

Akaito: Don't be so naïve, Black Rock Shooter. (pulls out a pistol from his pocket and points it at Black Rock Shooter) All this time, I've been playing you for a fool. (fade to white, then to black and white recap of past events) When I joined the Dark Stars, I knew you couldn't resist the lure of an agent who would work for free. However, I needed someone clumsy, stupid, and, well let's say, unattractive enough to draw all attention within the organization away from me so they wouldn't get suspicious. Thusly, when it came time to choose a partner, I chose Nightroot, your lowest ranking and most unreliable flunky. Everyone else thought I was a total moron to choose her, and while it's not like I was best friends with her during my time with the Dark Stars—(cut to Black Rock Shooter and Akaito; a little girl is standing nearby)

Little Girl: Uh, excuse me, mister. Have you seen my Miku Hachune doll?

Akaito: Hey. How did you get in here?

Little Girl: Uh, (cut to view of Little Girl's face) front door?

(pause) [This is Yuki Kaai. She…uh……well, she's…pretty much just a plot device. Where'd I put my cue cards?] (resume; cut to Akaito, Black Rock Shooter, and Yuki)

Akaito: (lowers his pistol) We have a front door?

Yuki: (nods) Over (points to a door nearby a pylon) there, by that weird glowy stick thing. Have you seen my Miku Hachune doll, mister?

Akaito: What does it look like?

Yuki: It's about (puts her hands up at roughly the width of her shoulders) this big and has long green hair like (puts her hands on her head, mimicking twin pigtails) this and a big head with tiny circles for eyes and a square mouth a leek in its hand.

Akaito: Uh, no. Now run along, little girl. I've got a monologue—I mean a hostile takeover—to execute.

Yuki: Can I have an apple before I leave?

Akaito: Sure. (pulls an apple out of his pocket) I was going to eat this later. (throws the apple at Yuki, who catches it and runs off) (turns to Black Rock Shooter) Now as I was saying—(sees Black Rock Shooter pointing a katana2 at his throat) eh? What the-?

Black Rock Shooter: Not another word, traitor.

Akaito: (snickers) You really think you can kill me with that thing? One little flaw in your strategy, Black Rock Shooter: I have a gun to counter your sword. Before you can move a muscle, I can just (points his pistol at Black Rock Shooter's face) pull the trigger and… (pulls the trigger; the pistol doesn't fire) Huh? (pulls the trigger several times; the pistol clicks, but never fires)

GUMI: (rises from the floor with a pistol magazine3 in her hand) One little flaw in YOUR strategy, Red Baron: I stole your ammo right before you "knocked me out" below. (crushes the magazine in her hand, then drops it)

Black Rock Shooter: Perfect timing, GUMI. (to Akaito) Now then, (raises her katana over her head) any last words?

Akaito: Um, uh…just give me a minute. (drops his pistol)

Black Rock Shooter: 3…

Akaito: (hesitantly) Uh, long live the emperor?

Black Rock Shooter: 2…

Akaito: (hastily) Let justice prevail? You won't get away with this? Aw, crap.

Black Rock Shooter: 1…

Akaito: (panic-stricken) N-N-N-No wait. I can explain. It wasn't my idea, I swear; it was—(Kaito falls from the ceiling and lands on him)

(Black Rock Shooter and GUMI stare at Kaito and Akaito blankly; Black Rock Shooter drops her katana) (cut to Kaito getting off Akaito)

Kaito: (dusts himself off) Wow. I can't believe how euphoric this gets after a while.

Akaito: (off screen) Can't…feel…spleen…

GUMI: Say, aren't you—(Meiko, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Teto, Haku, and Kiyoteru fall from the ceiling and land on Kaito, generating a thick dust cloud)

(cut to dust cloud clearing, showing Rin rubbing her rear end)

Rin: Ow. (whining) I won't be able to sit for a week. (zoom out to reveal Miku beneath Rin)

Miku: I'm sorry you don't feel so well, Rin-kun, but could you please get off my back? (zoom out to reveal Kaito at the bottom of a heap of people; he has X's for eyes)

Kaito: (barely able to breathe) Would you…all please…get off mine?

[Wow. That was rather random. Now that Miku and co. have located GUMI, how do they get her back from the clutches of Black Rock Shooter and her organization? And Why did Akaito just try to usurp Black Rock Shooter like some two-bit failed villain? Find out in the next chapter of Project Vocaloid.]

1 There's a small label near the aperture that reads "Blue Lotus MK I".

2 The katana's blade is engraved with the words "Goodbye Astronaut".

3 The magazine is engraved with the words "Bye Bye Professor".


	28. Chapter 28: Ere the Sun Rises

Chapter 28: Ere the Sun Rises

[Previously on Project Vocaloid…] (cut to Kaito, GUMI, and Black Rock Shooter in a lab room)

GUMI: Say, aren't you—(Meiko, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Teto, Haku, and Kiyoteru fall from the ceiling and land on Kaito, generating a thick dust cloud)

(cut to black) [A few moments earlier…] (cut to Kaito standing over a pit)

Kaito: I don't see any candy—

Meiko: (kicks Kaito into the pit) SPARTA!!! (Kaito screams)

(cut to black) [A few moments before that…]

(cut to Miku, Rin, and Len fleeing from a booby trapped bench, screaming; they all stop a safe distance away)

(cut to black) [Uh, that's a little too far back. Skip ahead to the part where we left off, okay?]

(cut to Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Haku, Teto, and Kiyoteru at the entrance of a secret passage beneath a bench) [There we go. Now then, as our heroes close in on Black Rock Shooter's trail, who knows what surprises await them?]

Kiyoteru: We're in. Now stay alert, everyone; Neo Prism probably rigged this entire passage with traps.

Haku: I sure hope not, because if we run into another trap, I'd totally freak out.

Miku: Uh, you weren't even here, Haku-san. (Rin narrowly avoids a buzz saw in the background)

Haku: Who told you that?

Miku: Luka-san took you and the others to Tokyo Tower to look for Black Rock Shooter. (Len narrowly avoids an anvil that falls from the ceiling in the background) Remember?

Haku: Oh yeah. Now I remember. Why is my memory so bad these days?

Miku: Maybe it's because of all that sake you drink. Even Meiko-san knows when enough is enough.

Haku: Then how do you explain (Gakupo narrowly avoids a flamethrower in the background) how she can drink so much sake at once without any negative repercussions? I've been trying to find out since we met.

Miku: By drinking as much as Meiko-san? You do realize how unhealthy that is, right?

Haku: Mmm…I guess.

Miku: As for how Meiko-san manages, I don't know; if I drank that much in one sitting, I'd probably throw up immediately. Maybe being able to tolerate all that alcohol is something that comes naturally to people like her. (Luka, Neru, and Teto avoid an explosion in the background)

Haku: Kind of like how Neru told me you never let your star status go to your head.

Miku: I guess so. (cut to Kiyoteru near a huge metal door1)

Kiyoteru: (notices a huge pit in the passageway) Huh? That's odd; this pit wasn't here before.

Kaito: This doesn't look like where you said you'd take us, Hiyama-sensei.

Kiyoteru: I know; this pit shouldn't be here, unless it's a trap Neo Prism forgot to reset. He spends so much time setting traps he sometimes forgets to reset them all.

Kaito: How do we know this IS a trap?

Kiyoteru: That's the catch; Neo Prism tends to put up so many traps in any given location, it's almost impossible to tell which contraptions are traps and which aren't.

Meiko: I guess there's only one way to find out: someone has to go get the candy at the bottom of the pit.

Kaito: Huh?

Meiko: (to Kaito) Didn't Hiyama-sensei tell you, Kaito? There's candy down there. Look for yourself.

Kaito: (looks down the pit) I don't see any candy—

Meiko: (kicks Kaito into the pit) SPARTA!!! (Kaito screams) (laughs hysterically and grabs her sides)

Miku: What did you do that for, Meiko-san?

Meiko: Oh, sorry, Miku. I couldn't resist. (leans to the side; her hand rests on a hidden button)

(cut to view of Meiko, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Haku, Teto, and Kiyoteru; the floor opens up beneath them; they all look down, then at each other)

Kiyoteru: Well, I didn't see THIS coming.

Len: I think this is the part where we're all supposed to fall and scream bloody murder.

(everyone starts running in place and screaming)

Rin: BLOODY MURDER! BLOODY MURDER!

(everyone drops; cut to everyone falling into the darkness, screaming)

(cut to Zenkaito watching an episode of Takeshi's Castle2 on a security monitor, laughing hysterically)

Announcer: (off screen) And off he goes. He's headed over the Log Run, and now he's on the Bridge of Death, and here come the flying meteors—OH!!! Right in the kisser! (continues in the background)

Zenkaito: (almost falls out of his chair) Geez! I can't believe they canceled this show so long ago!

(Kaito falls by on another security monitor, later followed by Meiko, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Teto, Haku, and Kiyoteru; Zenkaito doesn't notice)

(cut to Black Rock Shooter facing Akaito with a katana over her head; GUMI is standing nearby)

Akaito: (panic-stricken) N-N-N-No wait. I can explain. It wasn't my idea, I swear; it was—(Kaito falls from the ceiling and lands on him)

(Black Rock Shooter and GUMI stare at Kaito and Akaito blankly; Black Rock Shooter drops her katana) (cut to Kaito getting off Akaito)

Kaito: (dusts himself off) Wow. I can't believe how euphoric this gets after a while.

Akaito: (off screen) Can't…feel…spleen…

GUMI: Say, aren't you—(Meiko, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Teto, Haku, and Kiyoteru fall from the ceiling and land on Kaito, generating a thick dust cloud)

(cut to dust cloud clearing, showing Rin rubbing her rear end)

Rin: Ow. (whining) I won't be able to sit for a week. (zoom out to reveal Miku beneath Rin)

Miku: I'm sorry you don't feel so well, Rin-kun, but could you please get off my back? (zoom out to reveal Kaito at the bottom of a heap of people; he has X's for eyes)

Kaito: (barely able to breathe) Would you…all please…get off mine?

Yuki: (walks in) Ooh! My doll! (picks up a Miku Hachune doll lying nearby3) (looks down at Kaito) Thank you for finding my favorite doll, sir. (giggle) Here, let me help you all up.

(cut to Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, Neru, Teto, Haku, Kiyoteru, Yuki, GUMI, and Black Rock Shooter standing in the lab room; Akaito is bound in duct tape4) [A few moments later…]

Gakupo: Let me get this straight; we came all this way to rescue GUMI only to find out she didn't need rescuing after all?

GUMI: Absolutely. It turns out Black Rock Shooter didn't have any malicious intent for me after all; she just needed me to root out a spy in the midst of the Dark Stars.

Kaito: And you stuck (holds up a small homing beacon) this homing beacon in my jacket?

GUMI: That was you? Sorry, Kaito.

Luka: And what about that transceiver that wound up in the twins' road roller?

GUMI: I have no idea how that happened.

Akaito: Hey, can we cut the recap garbage and just wrap this up? Look, now that you have me captured and bound up and you don't need that stupid robot anymore, what are you going to do? Kill me?

GUMI: (slightly insulted) Worse.

Akaito: Worse? How do you define worse? (cut to Rin and Len in Kanto Central Park behind a control panel)

Len: 3…2…1…GO, RIN!

Rin: (slams her hand down on a button) PRESS!!! (cut to Akaito; a giant spring goes off beneath a hidden platform)

Akaito: (gets launched off the platform) THIS IS GOING TO HURT WHEN I !!!!!! (disappears in the sky as a star) (cut to Meiko and Kaito looking up in the sky)

Meiko: Say, the moon sure is beautiful tonight, isn't it?5

Kaito: Is it? I didn't even notice.

Meiko: (turns to Kaito) That's kind of funny coming from you. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?

Kaito: Uh, that the moon is beautiful tonight? I have to agree with you on that point.

Meiko: (shocked) You… you… (enraged) you idiot! How could you not realize what I've been trying to (grabs Kaito by the collar and shakes him violently) tell you all this time? I have half a mind to come into your bedroom tonight and beat you mercilessly until you're covered in smears from an endless crimson stream of my infallible rage! And the other half of my mind will start screaming at me to kill the first half! The brain damage you have is nothing compared to the compound fracture I'm about to give to your skull!

Kaito: (dazed and confused) What are you talking about?

Meiko: (normally) (chuckle) I'm just kidding, Kaito. (drops Kaito, who has spirals for eyes) I could never stay mad at you for long.

Kaito: (moaning) Man, I just had the weirdest sense of déjà vu.

(cut to Gakupo and Luka)

Gakupo: (groans and shakes his head) (She dangled it right in front of you and you still didn't see it. Oh well; better luck next time.) (to Luka) What a wild night.

Luka: Yeah, and now that it's all over, I can finally put my past to bed. Thanks for your help, Gakupo.

Gakupo: Well, I suppose that warrants a kiss, eh, Luka?

Luka: Save it for when we get back home. (yawn) It's late. (starts walking away)

Gakupo: (smiles at Luka) (I'll never give up on you, Luka; I love you.) (cut to Miku and Black Rock Shooter)

Miku: So, Black Rock Shooter-san, does this mean GUMI-san can come home with us?

Black Rock Shooter: Certainly; considering you guys just catapulted Red Baron to who knows where, I don't need her for any more operations. But before you go, take this. (hands Miku a com link device)

Miku: What is this for?

Black Rock Shooter: My work as an agent may be more or less over, but my engineering work is still incomplete. I'll check in every now and then.

Miku: Oh. Thank you.

Black Rock Shooter: You're welcome. And now… (pulls out a smoke bomb) Farewell. (detonates her smoke bomb on the ground, generating a thick cloud of smoke)

Miku: (coughing) (the smoke clears; Black Rock Shooter is gone) Black Rock Shooter…who are you?

Rin: (running over to Miku with Len) Miku! (stops beside Miku) Whew. That was fun, eh, Miku?

Miku: You're not tired, Rin-kun?

Rin: Tired? Me? After everything that happened tonight? No way! (pause) (collapses on the ground, asleep)

Len: Oh, come on. You fell asleep that quickly, Rin? Sheesh. That must be a new record. (to Miku) Which reminds me… Miku, there's something I need to tell you.

Miku: What?

Len: (nervously) Well, uh…you see…I uh…uh… (begins sweating profusely) M-m-m-m-miku…I…uh… (makes gestures with his hands) uh…gyuh… (flails his arms and babbles nonsense) (faints)

Miku: (giggle) That's okay, Len-kun. Whatever it is, you can tell me tomorrow. (motions to Neru and Teto)

[Well, folks, it's been fun, but all good things must come to an end, including this story. Whatever the future holds for Miku and her friends, only time will tell, but I sure hope that whatever comes their way will all turn out good in the end. And now, we bid you farewell with one last song6. (fade to white) Places, everybody.]

All: Wait. What? Alright! One more song! Ow! Get off me! Has anybody seen my shoes? etc. (fade from white to slideshow of Vocaloids in various activities)

_La la la la.  
La la la la.  
La la la la la la la la la.  
La la la la.  
La la la la.  
La la la la la la la la la._

Kaito:_ Here on this faint spring breeze,  
I ran into you and felt invited.  
When I first looked in your eyes,  
I couldn't look away._

Len:_ Here on this clear summer day,  
As I wear half-sleeves, I feel delighted.  
Fireworks light up the night sky;  
Oh, how I want you to stay._

GUMI:_ I just can't believe a short time ago,  
We all lived so far apart._

Luka: _But now as one, as a new day dawns,  
We all will depart._

All:_ And so we all carry on  
With joy in our hearts.  
There's no more need to make such a fuss.  
Even if tomorrow  
Brings only the dark,  
Now and forever, you're welcome with us._

Gakupo: _Here on this fine autumn breeze,  
I couldn't hide what I felt deep inside.  
Maybe I should have told you  
A sincere apology._

Miku: _Here on this cold winter day,  
I felt so bashful, I couldn't speak right.  
Oh but I must tell the whole truth  
Of my inaccuracies._

Rin: _I just wish I had a camera with me  
To capture all our deeds._

Meiko:_ Still we share these feelings of kindness and love  
And that's all we need._

All: _And so we share all our smiles  
In good times and bad.  
Our time together is so wondrous.  
Even if tomorrow  
Seems only sad,  
Now and forever, the day ends with us._

Miku: Well, I think it's your turn now, Hiyama-sensei.

Kiyoteru: What? Me? No no no. I'm not going out there—

Kaito: Oh, come on. Relax. How bad could it be?

Kiyoteru: Okay. I'll do it.

Meiko: Go get 'em.

Kiyoteru: _And so we all carry on  
With joy in our hearts.  
There's no more need to make such a fuss.  
Even if tomorrow  
Brings only the dark,  
Now and forever—_

Yuki: Hey! That's my line!

All: _And so we share all our smiles  
In good times and bad.  
Our time together is so wondrous.  
Even if tomorrow  
Seems only sad,  
Now and forever, the day ends with us._ (fade to white, then to Meiko, Kaito, Miku, Rin, Len, Gakupo, Luka, GUMI, Neru, Haku, Teto, Kiyoteru, and Yuki on stage)

_Now and forever, you're welcome with us._

(applause)

Crowd: (chanting with enthusiasm) Vocaloid! Vocaloid! Vocaloid! Vocaloid! (resumes applause) (cut to bus stop some distance away; Akaito crashes into the street, leaving an Akaito-shaped imprint)

Akaito: (climbing out of the imprint) Ugh…uh…I've got to find a better job…

THE END

1 The door is embroidered with the words "Night Fever".

2 Takeshi's Castle was a Japanese game show that ran from 1986 to 1989; it's known in the United States as Most Extreme Elimination Challenge.

3 Yuki's backpack has a label on it that reads "Shooting Star".

4 The roll of tape, seen near Akaito's feet, is labeled "Good Night".

5 What Meiko just said can be euphemistic for "I love you" in Japanese; it's based on an episode of Natsume Souseki, a famous Japanese writer in the Meiji period.

6 The final song of Project Vocaloid will be "Zutto Zutto", meaning "Forever and Ever" in Japanese.


End file.
